ULTRA STORY! The Beginning of Weeble-Wooble (🌽)

NOTE: This post is not canon, as indicated by its post number being a food.

In the beginning, there was nothing. Then, there were cats! And from those cats, sprung Roshan, the spirit of Weeble-Wooble. Roshan looked like a panther with the hindquarters of a dragon, and he loved each and every one of the cats as if they were his own children

But one day, the cats started getting bored. They didn't really like floating around in space. It was very uncomfortable, and they were always bumping into each other. So, in order to cure the cats' boredom, Roshan created a new creature: a Dragon named Phil Sr. (The father of the Yahtzee-playing dragon who currently watches over Weeble-Wooble.) 

The cats were amazed by this new creature; he was completely different from them! He had wings, horns, scaly skin, and he could breathe fire! What's not to love! But the best part was that Phil had a huge bag of dice! Three-sided, four-sided, any kind of dice you could ever want! The cats loved to play with these dice; Roshan did too. In fact, he had a favorite die: the incredible twelve-sided die. Phil knew that Roshan loved this die (and he wanted to repay him for bringing him to life) so Phil let Roshan keep the die, and wouldn't let the cats touch it.

Roshan saw the cats were happy with their new best friend and all of his dice, so he decided to take a rest for a while. He put himself on his die, and fell asleep. When he did this, the die became huge! So big that millions of other cats could have fit on it. Phil still enjoyed floating around in space, so he grew along with the dice, so their sizes were proportional with each other. The cats did not change size, and decided to live on the die forever. They made small towns, and called the lands that they lived on Weeble-Wooble. 

But without Roshan, Phil Sr. soon became lonely, and was starting to get bored of the cats, so he decided to make a friend for himself. Since Roshan had done it with him, it couldn't be that hard, right? Phil used every ounce of power in his being to create Norrix, now known as The Ultimate Weird. Norrix looked a lot like a humongous Gila monster, but he had the horns of a rhino, the tail of a scorpion, and the spines of a porcupine. Despite his appearance, Phil liked Norrix, and the two soon became great friends.

As their time together went on, Phil couldn't help noticing that Norrix could be a little strange sometimes. He had a habit of creating small creatures of his own, and then changing them into something else. He would do this for hours on end, until the creature he made was in an endless state of change and could never revert back to its original form. While this wasn't something that Phil particularly liked, he still wanted to remain friends with Norrix, so he ignored it.

However, one day Norrix went too far with his 'habit'. While Phil was asleep, Norrix kidnapped a cat from Weeble-Wooble and started changing it. It was almost to the point where it would never stop changing, when Roshan jumped off of Weeble-Wooble and tackled Norrix. The cat fell out of Norrix's hand and fell back down to its town. However, the cat was still changed when it fell. At this point, the cat looked something like a snake with wings.

Roshan took all of the other dice (which were floating around Weeble-Wooble), and imbued them with magic to create a prison deep underground for Norrix. The Dark Weird that Norrix had used to change the cat was irreversible, so the winged snake created a race of weird upon the face of Roshan's beloved land. 

Having used all of his power to imprison Norrix, Roshan fell back to Weeble-Wooble and died soon after, his Light Weird essence draining into the ground to keep Norrix from ever returning to power. One day, Roshan would be reincarnated into an even more powerful version of himself, one that could defeat Norrix once and for all. Some of the Light Weird where Roshan perished formed into a weapon powerful enough to destroy Norrix. A labyrinth was constructed around this site, which can only be navigated through by the reincarnation of Roshan.

The End

Spork, Private Eye #1 (62)

Spork was sitting in the park one day when she saw Dr. Kaat flying around. Knowing that he was bad news, Spork got up and danced away. When she was at about 50 feet away from Dr. Kaat, her phone started ringing. Help!, Exclaimed the phone. Spork answered right away,

"Hello?" She said in a really cool, intense voice, "Spork, Private Eye speaking."

"Yes," said a rather frantic and seal-sounding voice, "My nose has been kidnapped!"

"Got it, ma'am. I'll be right there."

Spork put her phone back in her cheek-pouch and started up her compass rose. She had only flown for 42.7 seconds, when Abraham Lincoln jumped from the heavens onto her compass rose.

"How dare you steal from me?! You shall-"

Lincoln was cut off as Spork kicked him off of her rose.

"I'll get you, Spork! If it's the last thing I do!"

"Yeah, whatever," said Spork, knowing that Abe was a big wuss.

Spork continued flying until she finally reached her destination; a huge, completely accurate bread carving of Avengers Tower. The seal ran up to her immediately.

"Thank you for coming here at such short notice, Detective," said the seal.

"Of course, Ms.-"

"Kabob. Kumquat Kabob."

"Ms. Kabob. Now, when did you last see your nose?"

"It was in the kitchen making me dinner, as it always does on Tuesday nights."

"Alright," said Spork, taking notes, "When did it go missing?"

"That same night, as we were watching the latest documentary by Varg Unikoorn. I turned to look at my nose after a funny line, but it was gone!"

"I see," said Spork, a nose instead of a pencil in her paw,

"Wait!" exclaimed Kumquat, "That's my nose!"

"Oh, this pencil?"

"No! That blueberry over by that tree!" said Kumquat, pointing towards the blueberry,

"Well then, I guess this case is closed. Another mystery solved by Spork, Private Eye."

The End

Adventuring with Fly #1 (61)

After his rather strange expedition to find the Ningen, Fly decided to go find other supposedly mystical creatures and anomalies. His next adventure would be to Cabo Rojo, Puerto Rico, in search of the legendary Goatsucker, also known as The Chupacabra. Thankfully, Bill and Joe (the cryptozoologists from Fly's last expedition) were willing to join Fly again. Fly also recruited a Spanish translator named Jorge in case the Chupacabra didn't speak English. Here is the logbook Fly kept:

Day 1: We haven't gotten to Puerto Rico yet, but I was getting bored just sitting in the airport. I really needed to write something. Our flight has been delayed three hours already.

Day 4: Still in the airport. Apparently, the plane forgot all of its passengers after already being delayed two days. More updates on the way.

Day 5: Finally on the plane. We've been waiting on the tarmac for five hours due to engine problems. Hopefully We'll get to leave soon.

Day 17: I can't remember what food tastes like. There are still engine troubles!! I'm pretty certain that the crew has forgotten us!

Day 32: Finally! We're taking off! Never have I yearned for airplane food with such ferocity! Chupacabra, prepare to be found!

Day 35: Well, the airport took us to Russia. Yeah. We've booked another flight, and will hopefully get to Puerto Rico soon.

Day 40: ENGINE PROBLEMS AGAIN!! What is wrong with this airplane company!?

Day 100: Yeah, I gave up.

The End

Dragon: Monster Hunter #1 (60)

When we last saw Dragon, he had just defeated an evil creature known as The George, because he had become a knight. Being a knight meant that he had to defeat one monster a year. Seeing as how The George was so easy to defeat, Dragon figured he'd get ahead of the game, and defeat even more monsters! The next monster he wanted to fight was Dracycloptaurous, which was humongous creature with the head of a dragon, the eye of a cyclops, the hindquarters of a centaur, the tail and horns of a triceratops, and the intelligence of a bean.

Dragon went to the local tomato to get some information on the creature.

"Ye want to fight the Dracycloptaurous, eh?" The tomato asked Dragon. Dragon nodded.

"Yer a much braver mouse than I, or anyone for that matter. Well, if it's the Dracycloptaurous ye be looking fer, than I know just the place to find it."

The tomato told Dragon to go to Ketchup Gulch to find his monster. Dragon knew that it was a long way to get there, so he started packing. He hopped into his Chevy Equinox, and set off to find the Dracycloptaurous. 

When Dragon reached the address that the tomato gave him, he was really confused. He was parked outside of a giant glass lion. He walked up to the lion to see if there was a door, but it twitched. Dragon froze. The lion stood up and roared at Dragon. This certainly wasn't the Dracycloptaurous, but it was still a monster. Dragon unsheathed his battleaxe, but before he could even reach the glass lion, it disappeared with a flash, leaving nothing but a lemon in its place.

The End 

Dawge #52! A Weeble-Wooblian Sport! (59)

Since the dawn of time, Weeble-Wooblians have played an incredible game, beloved by inanimate and animate creatures alike. That game is known as Paul. Paul is quite possibly the most popular game in Weeble-Wooble, and is enjoyed by things of all ages. Before I explain the rules and concept of the game, you should know the history of Paul. Paul was created in 6 million B.C. by an army ant named Luap and his cousin, a fish named Neff. There's really not that much more to the history. Well, onto the rules! Specially written by the current Paul champion, Luap himself!

The rules for Paul aren't actually that complex. The game requires eight-and-a-half players, one of which must be a fish.*  During the game, said fish must be strapped down to the floor completely while seven of the players tickle them. To win, the fish must not laugh for 49 consecutive hours. During this time, the other half player has to make a 50-foot ceramic statue of the fish. If they finish it before the 49 hours are up, the half player wins.

If the fish laughs at least once an hour for 107 hours straight, the ticklers win. If more than one tickler falls asleep during the game, the fish and the ticklers lose. If any of the ticklers stop tickling for even a second, the game starts over. If, during the game, the players somehow get destroyed by a nuclear warhead, anyone who says their names for the rest of time will turn into dirt. Last but not least, if the fish dies during play, everyone wins, including the dead fish.

*Two half-fish will work. Simply separate the fish half and the non-fish half from each of the fish. Put the fish halves together and microwave the non-fish halves until the game is over.

Jim and The Buffalo #2! (58)

Jim and Bub were exploring the universe as usual, when Bub started getting sleepy. As we all know, it's illegal for a buffalo to pilot while sleepy. So Bub let Jim take the wheel. (Actually, Martian spaceships have multi-level keyboards, not wheels). Jim was nervous at first but surprisingly, he was an excellent pilot.

Jim had been flying confidently through the Rodent quadrant for about half an hour when a squad of bunny fighters attacked the ship! Being new to space traveling, Jim didn't know that Planet Rabbit was the most dangerous and hostile planet in the entire galaxy. Jim was frozen in panic, but thankfully the attack woke up Bub. Bub mooed angrily at the attackers and activated the ship's lemon guns. When he started shooting, he mooed at Jim to fire the coyote cannon. The moment he fired it, all of the bunnies flew away as quick as they could. They'd done it! Jim and Bub had worked together to fight the bunny attackers! After such a hard fight, they needed to refuel. So they stopped at the planet of Very-Sharp-Knives.

The end

Adventures of Dawge Art Competition!

I am starting an art competition for the Adventures of Dawge blog! Draw any character, creature, place or anything else from Adventures of Dawge, and send it to dawgethecatfish@gmail.com. The best art will be put on pages in the upcoming Adventures Dawge Wiki, and might get featured in the Adventures of Dawge Novel! Bonus points to anyone who can make a good logo for Adventures of Dawge!

Dawge #51! The Traditional Weeble-Wooble Board Game! (57)

As you almost certainly already know, Weeble-Wooble has its own board game, just like any other fantasy world! Their board game is called Gregory. He's a really nice guy who likes long walks on the beach, and sandwiches. He's 4 inches tall, and weighs 75 ounces. 

List of Gregory's favorite things:

Sandwiches

Books

Abnormally large paperclips

Cyclopes

Weighing things

List of Gregory's least favorite things:

Loaded dice

The word antidisestablishmentarianism

Board game-eating tigers

Lemons

"I'm just an average board game searching for the perfect board game." -Gregory

The End

Dawge #50! Auctioneer Day (56)

As many of you probably know, today is Pioneer Day. The people in Weeble-Wooble don't celebrate Pioneer Day, they celebrate Auctioneer Day instead! Auctioneer Day is a festival where people from all over the multiverse come to Weeble-Wooble to bid on items that range from priceless family heirlooms, to worthless trinkets made by hippies a couple weeks prior to the festival. Now that I've explained what Auctioneer Day is, I'll let Goat describe an average experience during the festivities.

Hello! I'm Goat, and I'm gonna walk you through what normally happens during Auctioneer Day. I use the word 'normal' loosely, because nothing is normal in Weeble-Wooble, as you've probably figured out. 

First, the opening ceremony starts inside a mega-vulture nest. The blueberry in charge of the whole thing gives a short speech.

Second, lunch starts. Usually, a banquet of cuttlefish souls is served. But if that's not readily available, peas will suffice.

Third, second lunch starts. This is often caviar-stuffed peanut brittle.

Fourth, third lunch starts. Only exotic juices are served.

Fifth, everyone goes home. Caviar-stuffed peanut brittle has brainwashing capabilities, so everyone thinks that they participated in an auction instead of a Cthulhu cult meeting. 

Dawge #49! President Bubblehead's Vacation (55)

Being the president of Weeble-Wooble was hard work, and President Bubblehead needed a break. So he decided to go on a banana-watching cruise for a few weeks, and leave his Vice President, Bernard, in charge of the Plaid House.

"Goodbye President Bubblehead!" Said Bernard, as President Bubblehead was boarding his boat, "Good luck, and don't get eaten by an evil lemon-whale!" 

"Trust me, I won't!" Replied Bubblehead, slightly confused. 

Bernard was a rabbit, and a very suspicious one too. He also happened to be near Bubblehead all seven times that he had nearly died. Being a trusting person, Bubblehead brushed the thoughts away as a weird coincidence. He should just lay back and enjoy the bananas.

Meanwhile, back at the Plaid House, Bernard had stolen a wizard's wand, and was turning everyone into chairs and cubes of ham.

"Muahahaha!" Bernard laughed as he turned President Bubblehead's pet raccoon into an ottoman. "Now that everyone else is out of the way, I can rule supreme as Grand Emperor of Weeble-Wooble, soon to be named, Bernardville!"

Thankfully, Izyoo happened to be walking by. He saw the chaos, flicked his fin, and turned everything back to normal. Except for Bernard. He turned him into a nice hat.

"Well," Izyoo said, as he brushed off his hands, "Now that that's done, I can go to my yoga class!"

The End

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Dawge #48! Knock Knock Knocking On Izyoo's Door! (54)

It was a hot day in Weeble-Wooble, and Dawge needed to cool down. He decided to go to the beach. He got into his swimsuit with tiny horses on it, and enjoyed a day at the beach. He was having tons of fun with an incredibly friendly octopus, until a fisherman mistook him for a seahorse, and caught him in his net. Sadly, Dawge drowned and went to Fish Heaven. 

When Dawge arrived in Fish Heaven, he was greeted by a humongous roosterfish wearing a long flowing robe. This was Izyoo, the fish god.

"Hello, Dawge! I've been waiting awhile, but not quite long enough. What happened?" Asked Izyoo,

"Fishing net." Dawge replied.

Izyoo nodded. 

"Well, do you want to go back?" Izyoo inquired,

"That would be nice." Dawge said,

"Okey-dokey." Said Izyoo.

With a flourish of Izyoo's fins, Dawge was back at the beach, as if the whole thing had never happened. Because it hadn't, Dawge was delirious from lack of oxygen. The fisherman had immediately realized his mistake, and set Dawge gently back on the beach.

The End

Dawge #47! Urghh's Guide To Writing! (53)

Halloo! Me Urghh. Toady, I teach how ritehing wurks. Steep-and-steep eenstruckshens! :D

1: Book/papper/lahptop/tableet/andything yoo use to rite.
2: Other things to help.
3: Brayn. Brayn is allmost de most impurtent ting wen riting. Akordeeng to Goat, mine ees "Underdeveloped".
4: Snacks. Wen yoo is hungre, yoo need snak. Spessifikully lemons. LEMONS IS DE MOST GOOD SNAKS! TRUST URGHH!!
4: Not a pig(usualllly). While peegs are not empurtant to ritthing, dey is cute.
4: I thenk dat es all! Now, go! Rihte! Urghh Believe en yoo! RITE LIKE TE WIND!

Teh Ind

(yaya! UrghH made a rithing!)

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Dawge #46! Snuddles Learns To Skate! (52)

Once there was a cactus. When she was born, her parents couldn't decide whether to name her Cuddles or Snuggles. So, they combines the two. Resulting in Snuddles.

Ever since she was little, anything with wheels had always fascinated Snuddles. Especially roller skates. She decided to save up all of her cactus money, and buy a pair. And she did. She would work for hours every day learning to skate. Until one day, a group of grumpy little lemons came by while she was practicing. 

"Hey." Said one of the lemons, presumably the leader. 

For some reason, this really hurt Snuddles' feelings. Probably because she didn't have ears, and was just assuming that the lemon was saying something rude, because lemons often have rude-looking faces. Snuddles never skated again, after that day. Until a few weeks ago. Snuddles was walking down the street, when a voice told her to look up!* When she looked up, a poster for the Weeble-Wooble national roller skating competition flew into her face.** When she saw it, she remembered her childhood dream. To become a hot dog vendor! She was filled with a sudden surge of excitement and confidence as she ran back home to start fulfilling her dream!

The End

*For disclosure, this voice was a woman in her apartment yelling at her TV screen. The movie she was watching happened to be Snuddles Takes On The World, a really good drama by Aardvark Q. Pook.

**If you're wondering how Snuddles could hear the woman, since she didn't have ears: by this time, she had gotten a prosthetic.

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P.P.S. I've just recently started a YouTube channel with my sisters! Feel free to check it out here!

Dawge #45! Goat Vs. A Car Salesman Named Roy (51)

Goat's mom had called him, saying that he should visit. Being the absent-minded snake that he is, Goat agreed, and said he would visit tomorrow, despite the fact that he didn't have a car and his mom lived in New Jersey. Now, Goat didn't know this, but New Jersey is about forty million miles away from Weeble-Wooble. The only way to get there was by car or pancakes, and Goat does not make enough money for a pancake ticket. So, the logical thing to do would be to jump into a bowl of sauerkraut and pray to the non-existent Weeble-Wooble gods that you would be somehow be teleported to New Jersey. Goat didn't do that. He went to a car dealership and tried to get a car.

When Goat got to Krazy Kars 'n Stuff, the first thing he noticed was that the cheapest car there was actually just a lemon with rear view mirror taped to it. But, to be honest, it was a great deal. The second thing he noticed was that the most expensive car was also a lemon with a rear view mirror taped on. A car salesman eventually walked up to him. 

"Hello." The man said, in a rather unexcited tone. "Welcome to Krazy Kars 'n Stuff. How may I help you?"

"Hi!" Goat looked at the man's name tag which read 'Roy', "Roy, I'm looking for a car."

"Well, you came to the right place." Replied Roy, rather monotone. 

Goat was confused. All he saw in the car lot were fruits. Most of which were far too small to ride on.

"Are you sure?" Asked Goat, "All I see here is fruit."

Roy replied, "I don't know what you're talking about, there are cars all around you, see?" Roy gestured to a small, overripe watermelon with a license plate glued to it.

Goat didn't want to make to much of a fuss, so went along with Roy,

"Okay, Roy. I need something small that can get me to New Jersey."

"In that case," Roy explained, "I would recommend this one." 

Roy walked Goat over to a kiwi with a car key stuck into it. Goat looked at the price tag for the "car". The price was fourteen ducks. Fortunately, this was exactly what Goat had in his wallet! Goat pulled out the ducks with an impressively minimal amount of effort, considering these ducks were rather upset after being stuck in Goat's pocket for a while.

"I'll take it!" Goat told Roy.

"Splendid." Roy said in an incredibly bored voice. 

Goat gave Roy the ducks and took home his kiwi. Goat, being a go-with-the-flow sort of snake, hopped on his new "car" and drove to his mom's house, where he and she shared a lovely evening full of tea and surprisingly talkative pillows. 

The End

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Dawge #44! 2nd Anniversary Edition! (50)

I can't believe it! I've been publishing Adventures of Dawge for two years now! And over the years, a lot has changed: I've started writing full-fledged short stories instead of just random sentences; Lots of new characters have joined us; (Including Qaat, Bubs, and Urghh) And Mr. Bubblehead became president! 

To celebrate this momentous occasion, I would like to share a poem, written by Dawge himself:

An Ode To Random.

Through the arc of doom
I think of large giraffes

And little baby buffalo
Wearing multi-colored hats

Rabid werewolf-monkeys
And demons that are snobs

An evil flying dogfish
That's stinking at his job

A semi-worried flea
Who quite misses his son

And little lemon creatures
That eat people for fun

But when day is over
And when the sun is set

Nothing makes me quite as happy
As Urghh doing The Nutcracker ballet.

Dawge #43! Dawge's Guide To Not Fishing! (49)

Dawge's Guide To Not Fishing:
Step 1: Don't go to the local Mart-Mart and buy a fishing pole.
Step 2: Don't also buy a whole bunch of fishing lures and bait.
Step 3: Don't get yourself a cool fishing outfit like this:

Step 4: Don't get an awesome-looking fishing boat.

Step 5: Don't gather together all of your friends, give them fishing poles and      outfits, and bring them fishing with you.

Step 6: Don't take a cool, long car trip to get to a really big lake.

Step 7: Don't stop at the big lake and gawk at the beauty of it.

Step 8: Don't get in the boat and out onto the lake.

Step 9: DON'T GO FISHING

And that is how you not fish.

Dawge #42! Not So Nice To Be A Cat Part Two (48)

When we last saw Dawge, he was in the form of a cat, and in jail. Little did he know, Jim and Bub had accidentally picked up a caveman named Urghh during their adventures. When they found out about this, they happened to drop him off on top of the jail that Dawge was in. As we all know, cavemen named Urghh are incredibly heavy. When Urghh fell, the entire prison collapsed. Dawge was free! Now it was only a question of how to turn back into his normal self-

Ha!! ME UrgHH! yOO beE frEnt TO urGHH? Yaya! mE riTEr nOww! WelCOom to TE UrrGHh ShoW! Woo hOo! 

Sorry about that. Urghh and his mom are currently staying at my house for Urghh's safety. I went to get some hot chocolate and this happened. I apologize for the inconvenience. Now, back to the story:

Dawge went back to Weeble-Wooble so his friends could help him. Urghh ran around petting random people in the streets, until a rhino claimed him as her son. 

When Dawge got back to Weeble-Wooble, he remembered something. He still had his shape-shifting abilities! He turned himself back into a catfish and mostly everything was right with the world again.

 tE enT

(Urghh!)

Dawge #41! Not So Nice To Be A Cat Part One (47)

If you've ever seen a house cat, you might say that their life is easy. "How nice it would be to be a cat," you might say to yourself. But I assure you, it is not so nice to be a cat.

Dawge was walking by President Bubblehead's mansion, when he noticed something strange. The mansion was a lot bigger than he remembered it. So was the sidewalk. Everything was much bigger! Then Dawge understood. He was a cat. Thankfully, Dawge had a bucket list for just the occasion. He pulled the list out of his back pocket. Unfortunately, cats can't read, so this is what Dawge saw:

1: Feet a ditch 
2: Lift an elephant
3: Join a cat gang
4: Lump oof a teal bulldog
5: Cuddle jail on top of beats

The list made perfect sense to him, so Dawge did them in order. To start his list, Dawge kicked a ditch. After that, he bench pressed an elephant with his mind. (Just because he was a cat, didn't mean he lost his telekinetic abilities) Once that was done, he joined a cat gang in Detroit and scratched some windows, stole some catnip, and had a water gun fight in an alley. Before he could punch a teal colored bulldog, he was arrested by the cat police and put into cat jail.

THE END

Part Two coming soon!

Dawge #40! The Weeble-Wooble Debate! (46)

The Weeble-Wooble election was coming up, so they were having a debate. The two main candidates were Mr. Bubblehead (a rather fat man who sounded like an old British woman with a cold, and had a large bubble for a head) and a cow. 

The first question was for Mr. Bubblehead. 

"Do you know the muffin man?" Mr. Bubblehead responded, "Yes."

The next question was for the cow.

"Hannah has 127 books in her collection. Her school is hosting a book donation. There are z students at her school, and they each plan to donate the same number of books and reach a total donation of 300 books. How many books will 
Hannah have in her collection after the donation." The cow just stood there chewing cud.

By the end of the debate, Mr. Bubblehead had answered all of his questions very well, while the cow eventually walked out of the building and was adopted into a family of stegosauruses. When the election finally happened, Mr. Bubblehead won! He was now President Bubblehead!

THE END

Adventures of Dawge Plushies! (April Fools)

This is the day you've all been waiting for! Adventures of Dawge plushies are now available to buy! Click here to check them out!

Dawge #39! Dragon and The George! (45)

Dragon had recently been knighted in Mouse City for baking the greatest shnahzberry muffins in existence. To stay a knight, Dragon had to defeat one evil monster a year. For his first monster, Dragon had decided to defeat The George. The George was a small jellyfish-shaped creature made out of taxidermy sardines The thing that made him evil was that he pirated Marvel movies constantly! 

Dragon prepared to fight The George by donning his cheese armor and sharpening his battleaxe. He entered The George's cave, lifted his axe, and sat down to play Magic The Gathering. When he won, The George turned into an inanimate lump of prunes. Dragon had defeated his first evil monster!

                      The End

Super Dawg #6! Super Dawg vs Dr. Kaat! (Again) (44)

WARNING: This story uses several large and confusing words. For your convenience, there is a glossary to explain what these words mean.

The past few weeks had been boring for Super Dawg. All he had to do was rescue a couple cats from trees and help old people. After you help Mr. Hingletopper cross the road for the 50th time, it gets really boring. 

On the other hand, Dr. Kaat was working tirelessly in his lab. He had started making a collage of pictures from his vacation to Italy, when it somehow gained sentience, and turned into a vaguely bear-shaped colloid. Dr. Kaat named it Shlurpy and taught it to hate Super Dawg. After a few days, he let Shlurpy out of his lab, trusting that he would find and destroy Super Dawg. He didn't. Shlurpy found bunnies very interesting and followed on into the forest to live happily ever after.

Glossary:

Colloid: A colloid is a gel-like substance.

Sentience: Sentience is the ability to feel, perceive, or experience subjectively.

Dawge #38! Dawge's Guide To Boat-Making! (43)

Dear Readers, I was able to escape the Time-Space Law Enforcement much quicker that I thought. From now on I will post on every Tuesday that I can.

Dawge's Guide to Boat-Making:

Step 1: Prepare five servings of latkes.

Step 2: Convince a choir of squirrels to sing "Billie Jean" by Michael Jackson.

Step 3: Feed the latkes to the squirrel choir.

Step 4: Play checkers for fifteen minutes.

Step 5: Have a diving contest against the squirrels.

Step 6: Help an old man cross a street that you made with the squirrels.

Step 7: Register yourself as Pro-Squirrel.

Step 8: Vote for Chubby McBushytail in every election. 
Step 9: Join the protest for squirrel rights.
Step 10: Become a squirrel using the wonders of technology.

And last but not least;

Step 13: Buy a speed boat.

Dawge #37! Fly's Expedition Part 2 (42)

I'm sorry that I didn't post this sooner! I had forgotten what day it was. But now, I present you with.... Fly's Expedition Part 2!

Fly dropped his notebook when he saw the ghost of Benjamin Franklin walk through the cave entrance holding a flamethrower. Fly and his crew looked astonished. 

Fly broke the silence by saying, "W-what? How?" 

Benjamin simply answered, "I heard the commotion and decided to investigate. I saw you in trouble and I want to help. As I've said before, 'We must all hang together, or we shall all hang separately'."

Fly was still confused but thought that he should just accept Ben's help rather than question it. He peeked through the vines and saw the lemon monsters searching around outside the cave. Benjamin looked out too and gave everyone a weapon. Fly got a scimitar, Bill got a pair of nunchucks, and Joe got seventeen sticks of dynamite. Fly counted to three and they all jumped out of the cave to attack the lemons. Luck favored them because the lemons were extremely combustible! When Ben would get one with his flamethrower, it would burst into flames! 

Before long, the lemons started to run back into the ocean. Fly was about to start celebrating when a humanoid killer whale leaped out of the water! Fly was so shocked that a lemon bit off his trunk. Thankfully though, lemons have healing saliva so the wound closed up instead of bleeding. After that it was all a blur. The only thing that Fly could remember was Super Dawg taking the unconscious killer whale away.

When Fly was home, Dragon made him a sort-of prosthetic trunk that was like a Swiss Army knife on his face!

                                              The End

Dawge #36! The Guitar Safari! (41)

Dawge had been really stressed saving Weeble-Wooble all the time as Super Dawg, so he decided to take a little vacation, and go on a guitar safari. Since Bob was worried about Jim exploring space with Bub, Dawge thought a guitar safari would be just the thing to help him relax. Dawge wasn't very good friends with Bob. Whenever they were hanging out, there was a lot of awkward silence. So, he decided to invite Dragon too.

When they got to the guitar grasslands, they rode in a small jeep driven by their T-rex tour guide.

"If you look to your right," the T-Rex said in a surprisingly silky tone, "You will see a group of slap basses feasting in a freshly killed banjo. If you look to your left, you can see a large group of ukuleles grazing on some lemon-grass."

Bob was about to share a fun fact about banjos, when the ukuleles each ripped in half, and a monkey came out of each of them! The monkeys pushed over a big rock, which rolled down a ramp and hit a tank. The tank shot a bullet over a cat's head, which startled the cat and made it jump onto a coffee maker. The coffee maker proceeded to explode, and blew shrapnel into a lemon that turned into a monkey with a tuxedo who made everyone a cup of apple juice. Dawge, Bob, Dragon, and the T-Rex drank their apple juice, and Dr. Kaat's plan was foiled again, because the monkey in a tux was supposed to give them pickle juice disguised as lemonade.

Dawge #35! Fly's Expedition! (40)

Three months ago, Fly's mother promised him that if he found definite proof of a Ningen, she would buy him a Game-Playing Station 4. Since she had said that, Fly had gathered the things he'd need for a trip to Japan, some enthusiastic  cryptozoologists, and gone to eastern Japan. This is the logbook that he kept during his month-long expedition:

Day 1: Me and the crew have left the airport, and have checked into a hotel near the beach. Tomorrow, we are going to start searching for traces of Ningens at the beach and in shallow water.

Day 3: We were able to find a pice of thick, yellow skin. This almost definitely not a Ningen, but we will do DNA tests soon. John, a member of our crew, has found out a lot about the folklore and sightings of Ningens. Apparently they are sleek, white, and mermaid-shaped.

Day 7: We ran tests on the skin and were able to identify it as a strange mutated citrus. This might be a clue to finding a Ningen, but it doesn't fit anything we've heard about.

Day 18: WE FOUND SOMETHING! We had gone out to sea to lure a Ningen. When we got a bite, it was really strong, it took almost all of us to keep it from getting away. Eventually, it jumped out of the water, let go of the hook, and dove back down. It was yellow and circular with a giant, gaping maw with at least 85 teeth! We're coming back tomorrow to try to catch it again.

Day 19: Right as we were about to board our boat, we saw it washed up on the shore ... IT'S A LEMON! We started investigating, but as we got close, it lunged at us and made a deafening screech. There were thousands of ripples and bubbles in the water. Me and the crew ran as fast as we could but those monsters were too fast for most of us. We lost John and Steven.

Day 20: Me and what remains of the crew are hiding in a cave that's covered by vines. From what we saw, the creatures didn't have noses, so they shouldn't be able to find-


                              Is Fly gone? Find out February 6th!

Dawge #34! Dr. Kaat vs. The Power-Fluff Gerbils! (39)

Dr. Kaat was sitting in his lair thinking about how he had been foiled by Super Dawg before, and why. Then he realized that Super Dawg was almost bigger them than him! He was certain that he could win if he fought someone smaller! He went to his superhero encyclopedia and found The Power-Fluff Gerbils. Right away he started thinking of his diabolical plan. 

Meanwhile, Betty, Floofers, and Not-Betty were in their secret lair in Goat's basement that not even he knew about it. All of a sudden, the ground shook, the sky turned an unearthly red, and Weeble-Wooble turned into a lemon! The Power-Fluff Gerbils immediately got to work. They used laser swords to cut the lemon world in to a dodecahedron once again! The world was safe, and Dr. Kaat  was very disappointed. 

Dawge #33! A day in the life of Goat (38)

Every morning, Goat wakes up in his backhoe, and eats Mice 'n Oats cereal for breakfast. After breakfast, he goes to Ethiopia to work at the sheep factory. He is the person who makes the legs of the sheep. According to Goat, it's a lot harder than you'd think.

During his lunch break, Goat gets a goblin-meat sandwich at Fantasy Fud. When he gets back to work, he makes about seventeen more sheep legs, and then goes to his salsa dancing classes. His dance instructor is the ghost of Benjamin Franklin. 

Once Goat is done with his dancing, he heads home and has Instant Mice for dinner. Before he goes to bed, he watches the latest episode of his favorite reality show, The Hidden Penguins in North America. Goat then goes to bed in his bed made out of bottles of helium.

                       The End