Jim and The Buffalo #4! (88)

We join Jim the sentient lamp and Bub the buffalo as Jim is being taken by a giant intergalactic lemon-monster.

As Bub watched the monster grab his friend, he hit the button marked Super awesome mega weapon button! A giant bazooka came out of the ship. With it pointed right at the lemon-monster, Bub shot it.

Jim looked in disbelief at the bazooka. He was going to scream with surprise, but it was too late. The bubbles flew straight out of the bazooka right into the lemon-monster. 

The creature stumbled backwards, fell, and dropped Jim. Bub grabbed his pool skimmer and reached out for Jim, but it wasn't long enough.

"Hey!" A voice called, "Need some help?"

Bub turned and nodded. 

"Okay! Just hold on!" The voice calling was a Buh.

The Buh reached for Jim, but a giant gust of wind came and blew it away.

"Tell my story!" The Buh called as its voice grew fainter and fainter.

Bub started growing frantic. 

Just then, a gigantic chicken walked by, picked up Jim, dropped him in Bub's ship, and walked away.

Bub and Jim just looked at each other, hugged, then flew back to Weeble-Wooble.

The End

Adventuring with Fly #2a! Fly's Journey to My-Face! (76)

Fly woke up one morning to find that his trunk had been transformed. He had a feeling he had an adventure on his ears, which called for a logbook. This is the logbook Fly kept:

Day 1, Entry 1: Today I woke up and my trunk had been turned into a neon indigo sphube. I reluctantly went to Dr. Kaat's tower because he's the only doctor in Weeble-Wooble. His diagnosis was Nebluhy and he said the only cure is a magical cheese from a planet called My-Face. I'm currently on my way to Spork's office to make sure Dr. Kaat is telling the truth.

Day 1, Entry 2: Spork says everything checks out. She let me borrow her compass rose because apparently pancakes don't have enough power to travel interstellar by themselves. Spork told me that if I didn't want to spend 3701 months in interstellar space, I'm going to need laser toast. I told her that I didn't have any and she explained that dirt works just as well. I plan to zoodle* this afternoon.

Day 1, Entry 3: I got hungry and ate the pancakes. Yeah. I'll order some more in a couple days once I get my octodaily duck shipment from Chalk Expedition Foundation Corp. Inc.

Day 4, Entry 1: I got my duck shipment and my pancakes. I'm ready to zoodle. 7279...656...38...7...purple...ZOODLE!!

Day 4, Entry 2: I've been zoodling for about 5 hours now. All I've seen so far is stars, pumpkins, and pineapples.

Day 6: I just passed a UFO. I think I saw a buffalo piloting it, with a sentient lamp by its side. I also think I might already be starting to go space-crazy.

Day 9: I'm still zoodling through space. Nothing new to report except a time-travelling spoon, two lightsabers fighting each other with humans, a giant berrystraw (a straw made of various exotic berries), two superdupercomputers having a staring contest, a keyboard playing a cat, and a cult of sentient grapes. Needless to say, it's been a boring, uneventful couple of days.

Day 15, Entry 1: I'm almost there! I can see My-Face!

Day 15, Entry 2: My brake was just stolen by the time-travelling spoon! I can't slow down! I'm gonna cra-

Is Fly okay? Find out next week!

*Zoodling is when you travel somewhere via pancakes.

Jim and The Buffalo #3! (64)

When we last saw Jim and Bub, they had just escaped from an armada of bunny fighters from the rodent quadrant and stopped to refuel on the planet of Very-Sharp-Knives.

Bub, being the second best space traveler in the universe, (the first is the hive-mind of semi-sentient watering cans) knew a little known fact about the planet of Very-Sharp-Knives: it is actually just made out of every single substance in existence except for knives, making it a playground for chickens. It was also one of the best places for refueling, since it had a nearly endless source of fossil pizza.

While Bub was refueling, Jim sat on a pile of plutonium, feeling homesick. It'd been a long time since he'd seen his dad, Bob the flea, or at least he thought so; lamps have a very bad sense of time. He'd had a lot of fun with Bub, traveling the universe and all, but he was really starting to miss Weeble-Wooble. Maybe it was time to go home.

After Bub fueled up the ship, he and Jim got back in. As they were taking off, Bub noticed that Jim looked sad. He asked him what was wrong and Jim explained his loneliness. Bub was a little disappointed at first, but agreed to take Jim back to Weeble-Wooble.

As they took off and headed for Weeble-Wooble, Jim felt extremely excited. He was going home! He hadn't noticed quite how much he missed Bob, but he was crying ketchup of joy. But right as Bub had finished charting their course, Jim heard a large thumping far behind the ship. Bub didn't seem to notice it, so Jim assumed that it was all in his head (lamps actually have hearing far superior than buffalo do), until a huge hand came through the open window of the ship and grabbed Jim. Bub shouted out to Jim as he was taken away by an intergalactic lemon-monster.

To Be Continued...

Jim and The Buffalo #2! (58)

Jim and Bub were exploring the universe as usual, when Bub started getting sleepy. As we all know, it's illegal for a buffalo to pilot while sleepy. So Bub let Jim take the wheel. (Actually, Martian spaceships have multi-level keyboards, not wheels). Jim was nervous at first but surprisingly, he was an excellent pilot.

Jim had been flying confidently through the Rodent quadrant for about half an hour when a squad of bunny fighters attacked the ship! Being new to space traveling, Jim didn't know that Planet Rabbit was the most dangerous and hostile planet in the entire galaxy. Jim was frozen in panic, but thankfully the attack woke up Bub. Bub mooed angrily at the attackers and activated the ship's lemon guns. When he started shooting, he mooed at Jim to fire the coyote cannon. The moment he fired it, all of the bunnies flew away as quick as they could. They'd done it! Jim and Bub had worked together to fight the bunny attackers! After such a hard fight, they needed to refuel. So they stopped at the planet of Very-Sharp-Knives.

The end

Jim and The Buffalo #1! (29)

    When we last saw Jim the lamp, he had been abducted by a buffalo in a spaceship. When we last saw the buffalo, Dawge had returned it to the aliens from planet ~. The buffalo really hated the aliens because they always fed him lime green grass when he really wanted to eat jade green grass. 

    When the aliens had stopped at mars for a rest stop, the buffalo hi-jacked their spaceship and went back to earth to try to get Dawge. As you all know, buffaloes from the planet ~ have very poor eyesight. So when the buffalo was trying to get Dawge, he got Jim the lamp instead. When he noticed that Jim wasn't a mutated catfish with metal arms, he was going to send him back. Jim is very good company, however, so the two of them decided to fly around looking for cool space stuff.

    Jim was quite shocked when he met the buffalo. He was also relieved because now he never had to go to school again! The buffalo had good food and fun stuff to do, so he stayed. He called his dad on his steak-phone, to let him know he would get back late, and named the buffalo Bub.

                      THE END

Dawge #23! Back to School Edition! (25)

    Today is the first day of school for Bob's lamp, Jim. He's nervous because he is going to a seal school. Bob works as an intern at a Circle K, so he found the cheapest school and signed Jim up. 

    Jim got up today, ate breakfast, got his backpack, and went to school. There are a lot of things that make seal school different from people school. The main thing that Jim found out first is that seals don't wear backpacks. Jim was mocked a lot because he had a backpack. When he got to lunch, the seals mocked him because he ate by plugging himself into an outlet instead of eating fish. At recess, Jim wasn't mocked at all, because at this point a buffalo in a spaceship picked Jim up and promised him adventure.

    I have a feeling that Bob will be very disappointed that Jim ran away from school on the first day.