Apologies, this post does not exist. It was brutally tickled out of existence by an abnormally talkative, pink shoelace named Miranda. This is that story.
One fateful Smarch mafternoon, Super Dawg was retelling the story of how he invented potatoes to Aiden to transcribe. He was just getting to the part with Superman, when a shoelace burst into the room! It was packing heat and it wanted revenge!
"Thought you were rid of me, didn't you, Super Dawg!?" The shoelace yelled angrily.
"I thought I took care of you, Miranda! I ate that chocolate milk and everything!" Super Dawg replied, surprised.
"Of course you would think that, wouldn't you! But no matter, I'm back now, and I'm going to stop your story from being published, if it's the last thing thing I do!"
Miranda pulled out her AK Feather-7 and tickled the computer that Aiden was typing on.
"Mwahaha! Now the true story of potatoes will never be known!" And it wasn't.
The End
It was a boring day for Dawge, when suddenly, the emergency pigeon started flashing. He checked it and it said that the towel dragon was terrorizing people and bratwurst stands all across Taco Street! Using his amazing charismatic abilities, Dawge willed the toaster on his back into a suit of armor. He was now Super Dawg, the crime-fighting catfish!
When Super Dawg got to Taco Street, three gerbils were already flying and shooting lasers from their puffy cheeks at the towel dragon! Even though he was surprised that there were other super heroes in Weeble-Wooble, Super Dawg helped the Power-Fluff Gerbils put the towel dragon in jail. They made sure all the bratwurst stands were fixed before heading home.
A few days later, Super Dawg asked the Power-Fluff Gerbils who they were. They told him that they were genetically mutated gerbillinae with incredible powers. They also told him that Goat made them, so if they ever turned evil for some reason it was his fault. *wink*
THE END
It was a dark and stormy Halloween eve. Qaat was scheming in his evil tower, trying to think of a way to ruin Dawge's Halloween. Suddenly, he thought of what would possibly be his greatest scheme yet! Seeing as how he'd never done an evil scheme, planting petunias could be this idea. But it wasn't! He went to Goat's magical pumpkin patch that was next to a nuclear power plant and poured a vat of growth serum. "Now these pumpkins will be to big for anyone to carve! Mhawhahahahaha!!!!!"
During the night, the pumpkins mutated horrendously! When everyone woke up, pumpkin zombies were everywhere! Dragon knew exactly what to do. He went into his secret underground bunker and grabbed all his zombie fighting gear: His machete, flamethrower, shield, and squirrel armor (armor that is squirrel skin in the shape of a squirrel). He went out of his house only to find out that the zombie pumpkins were actually perfectly healthy puppies! And so everyone got a cute little puppy. Except for Qaat. He's allergic.
The End
The racers are ready to start their engines. But wait, there is a last minute entry! A small mutated dogfish, named Qaat, will be competing in the race in a miniature apache helicopter. Qaat's helicopter is starting right next to Dawge. "May the best fish win!" Says Dawge, cheerfully. Qaat, glaring at Dawge, opens his mouth to say something, but before he can, Goat says, "I plan to."
A small rock is floating above them. First it turns red, then it turns yellow, finally it turns puce and the race begins! Dragon takes the lead, but Spork is right behind him. Dawge is in third place with Qaat on his tail. Goat and Fly were distracted by a food truck, and are now enjoying a delicious bowl of mac 'n cheese. Dragon starts to have engine problems and makes a pit stop. Dawge takes advantage, and gets as close to Spork as he can. Qaat, clearly annoyed, shoots a couple of missiles at Spork. She tries to dodge, but the east on her compass rose is blown off. Spork spins out of control, falling behind to third place.
Dawge and Qaat are neck and neck. Who knew albino war gorillas could get as fast as a helicopter? Nearing the finish line, Qaat makes a final attempt to cheat by giving Dawge a pie. But Dragon had finished half an hour ago! His engine problems were actually a magical teleportation piston that had put him right at the finish line. Dragon was given the infinite donut trophy, and Dawge and Qaat swore to be mortal enemies!