Dawge #46! Snuddles Learns To Skate! (52)

Once there was a cactus. When she was born, her parents couldn't decide whether to name her Cuddles or Snuggles. So, they combines the two. Resulting in Snuddles.

Ever since she was little, anything with wheels had always fascinated Snuddles. Especially roller skates. She decided to save up all of her cactus money, and buy a pair. And she did. She would work for hours every day learning to skate. Until one day, a group of grumpy little lemons came by while she was practicing. 

"Hey." Said one of the lemons, presumably the leader. 

For some reason, this really hurt Snuddles' feelings. Probably because she didn't have ears, and was just assuming that the lemon was saying something rude, because lemons often have rude-looking faces. Snuddles never skated again, after that day. Until a few weeks ago. Snuddles was walking down the street, when a voice told her to look up!* When she looked up, a poster for the Weeble-Wooble national roller skating competition flew into her face.** When she saw it, she remembered her childhood dream. To become a hot dog vendor! She was filled with a sudden surge of excitement and confidence as she ran back home to start fulfilling her dream!

The End

*For disclosure, this voice was a woman in her apartment yelling at her TV screen. The movie she was watching happened to be Snuddles Takes On The World, a really good drama by Aardvark Q. Pook.

**If you're wondering how Snuddles could hear the woman, since she didn't have ears: by this time, she had gotten a prosthetic.

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Dawge #45! Goat Vs. A Car Salesman Named Roy (51)

Goat's mom had called him, saying that he should visit. Being the absent-minded snake that he is, Goat agreed, and said he would visit tomorrow, despite the fact that he didn't have a car and his mom lived in New Jersey. Now, Goat didn't know this, but New Jersey is about forty million miles away from Weeble-Wooble. The only way to get there was by car or pancakes, and Goat does not make enough money for a pancake ticket. So, the logical thing to do would be to jump into a bowl of sauerkraut and pray to the non-existent Weeble-Wooble gods that you would be somehow be teleported to New Jersey. Goat didn't do that. He went to a car dealership and tried to get a car.

When Goat got to Krazy Kars 'n Stuff, the first thing he noticed was that the cheapest car there was actually just a lemon with rear view mirror taped to it. But, to be honest, it was a great deal. The second thing he noticed was that the most expensive car was also a lemon with a rear view mirror taped on. A car salesman eventually walked up to him. 

"Hello." The man said, in a rather unexcited tone. "Welcome to Krazy Kars 'n Stuff. How may I help you?"

"Hi!" Goat looked at the man's name tag which read 'Roy', "Roy, I'm looking for a car."

"Well, you came to the right place." Replied Roy, rather monotone. 

Goat was confused. All he saw in the car lot were fruits. Most of which were far too small to ride on.

"Are you sure?" Asked Goat, "All I see here is fruit."

Roy replied, "I don't know what you're talking about, there are cars all around you, see?" Roy gestured to a small, overripe watermelon with a license plate glued to it.

Goat didn't want to make to much of a fuss, so went along with Roy,

"Okay, Roy. I need something small that can get me to New Jersey."

"In that case," Roy explained, "I would recommend this one." 

Roy walked Goat over to a kiwi with a car key stuck into it. Goat looked at the price tag for the "car". The price was fourteen ducks. Fortunately, this was exactly what Goat had in his wallet! Goat pulled out the ducks with an impressively minimal amount of effort, considering these ducks were rather upset after being stuck in Goat's pocket for a while.

"I'll take it!" Goat told Roy.

"Splendid." Roy said in an incredibly bored voice. 

Goat gave Roy the ducks and took home his kiwi. Goat, being a go-with-the-flow sort of snake, hopped on his new "car" and drove to his mom's house, where he and she shared a lovely evening full of tea and surprisingly talkative pillows. 

The End

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