Dawge #51! The Traditional Weeble-Wooble Board Game! (57)

As you almost certainly already know, Weeble-Wooble has its own board game, just like any other fantasy world! Their board game is called Gregory. He's a really nice guy who likes long walks on the beach, and sandwiches. He's 4 inches tall, and weighs 75 ounces. 

List of Gregory's favorite things:

Sandwiches

Books

Abnormally large paperclips

Cyclopes

Weighing things

List of Gregory's least favorite things:

Loaded dice

The word antidisestablishmentarianism

Board game-eating tigers

Lemons

"I'm just an average board game searching for the perfect board game." -Gregory

The End

Dawge #50! Auctioneer Day (56)

As many of you probably know, today is Pioneer Day. The people in Weeble-Wooble don't celebrate Pioneer Day, they celebrate Auctioneer Day instead! Auctioneer Day is a festival where people from all over the multiverse come to Weeble-Wooble to bid on items that range from priceless family heirlooms, to worthless trinkets made by hippies a couple weeks prior to the festival. Now that I've explained what Auctioneer Day is, I'll let Goat describe an average experience during the festivities.

Hello! I'm Goat, and I'm gonna walk you through what normally happens during Auctioneer Day. I use the word 'normal' loosely, because nothing is normal in Weeble-Wooble, as you've probably figured out. 

First, the opening ceremony starts inside a mega-vulture nest. The blueberry in charge of the whole thing gives a short speech.

Second, lunch starts. Usually, a banquet of cuttlefish souls is served. But if that's not readily available, peas will suffice.

Third, second lunch starts. This is often caviar-stuffed peanut brittle.

Fourth, third lunch starts. Only exotic juices are served.

Fifth, everyone goes home. Caviar-stuffed peanut brittle has brainwashing capabilities, so everyone thinks that they participated in an auction instead of a Cthulhu cult meeting. 

Dawge #49! President Bubblehead's Vacation (55)

Being the president of Weeble-Wooble was hard work, and President Bubblehead needed a break. So he decided to go on a banana-watching cruise for a few weeks, and leave his Vice President, Bernard, in charge of the Plaid House.

"Goodbye President Bubblehead!" Said Bernard, as President Bubblehead was boarding his boat, "Good luck, and don't get eaten by an evil lemon-whale!" 

"Trust me, I won't!" Replied Bubblehead, slightly confused. 

Bernard was a rabbit, and a very suspicious one too. He also happened to be near Bubblehead all seven times that he had nearly died. Being a trusting person, Bubblehead brushed the thoughts away as a weird coincidence. He should just lay back and enjoy the bananas.

Meanwhile, back at the Plaid House, Bernard had stolen a wizard's wand, and was turning everyone into chairs and cubes of ham.

"Muahahaha!" Bernard laughed as he turned President Bubblehead's pet raccoon into an ottoman. "Now that everyone else is out of the way, I can rule supreme as Grand Emperor of Weeble-Wooble, soon to be named, Bernardville!"

Thankfully, Izyoo happened to be walking by. He saw the chaos, flicked his fin, and turned everything back to normal. Except for Bernard. He turned him into a nice hat.

"Well," Izyoo said, as he brushed off his hands, "Now that that's done, I can go to my yoga class!"

The End

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Dawge #48! Knock Knock Knocking On Izyoo's Door! (54)

It was a hot day in Weeble-Wooble, and Dawge needed to cool down. He decided to go to the beach. He got into his swimsuit with tiny horses on it, and enjoyed a day at the beach. He was having tons of fun with an incredibly friendly octopus, until a fisherman mistook him for a seahorse, and caught him in his net. Sadly, Dawge drowned and went to Fish Heaven. 

When Dawge arrived in Fish Heaven, he was greeted by a humongous roosterfish wearing a long flowing robe. This was Izyoo, the fish god.

"Hello, Dawge! I've been waiting awhile, but not quite long enough. What happened?" Asked Izyoo,

"Fishing net." Dawge replied.

Izyoo nodded. 

"Well, do you want to go back?" Izyoo inquired,

"That would be nice." Dawge said,

"Okey-dokey." Said Izyoo.

With a flourish of Izyoo's fins, Dawge was back at the beach, as if the whole thing had never happened. Because it hadn't, Dawge was delirious from lack of oxygen. The fisherman had immediately realized his mistake, and set Dawge gently back on the beach.

The End

Dawge #47! Urghh's Guide To Writing! (53)

Halloo! Me Urghh. Toady, I teach how ritehing wurks. Steep-and-steep eenstruckshens! :D

1: Book/papper/lahptop/tableet/andything yoo use to rite.
2: Other things to help.
3: Brayn. Brayn is allmost de most impurtent ting wen riting. Akordeeng to Goat, mine ees "Underdeveloped".
4: Snacks. Wen yoo is hungre, yoo need snak. Spessifikully lemons. LEMONS IS DE MOST GOOD SNAKS! TRUST URGHH!!
4: Not a pig(usualllly). While peegs are not empurtant to ritthing, dey is cute.
4: I thenk dat es all! Now, go! Rihte! Urghh Believe en yoo! RITE LIKE TE WIND!

Teh Ind

(yaya! UrghH made a rithing!)

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