Dragon: Monster Hunter #1 (60)

When we last saw Dragon, he had just defeated an evil creature known as The George, because he had become a knight. Being a knight meant that he had to defeat one monster a year. Seeing as how The George was so easy to defeat, Dragon figured he'd get ahead of the game, and defeat even more monsters! The next monster he wanted to fight was Dracycloptaurous, which was humongous creature with the head of a dragon, the eye of a cyclops, the hindquarters of a centaur, the tail and horns of a triceratops, and the intelligence of a bean.

Dragon went to the local tomato to get some information on the creature.

"Ye want to fight the Dracycloptaurous, eh?" The tomato asked Dragon. Dragon nodded.

"Yer a much braver mouse than I, or anyone for that matter. Well, if it's the Dracycloptaurous ye be looking fer, than I know just the place to find it."

The tomato told Dragon to go to Ketchup Gulch to find his monster. Dragon knew that it was a long way to get there, so he started packing. He hopped into his Chevy Equinox, and set off to find the Dracycloptaurous. 

When Dragon reached the address that the tomato gave him, he was really confused. He was parked outside of a giant glass lion. He walked up to the lion to see if there was a door, but it twitched. Dragon froze. The lion stood up and roared at Dragon. This certainly wasn't the Dracycloptaurous, but it was still a monster. Dragon unsheathed his battleaxe, but before he could even reach the glass lion, it disappeared with a flash, leaving nothing but a lemon in its place.

The End 

Dawge #52! A Weeble-Wooblian Sport! (59)

Since the dawn of time, Weeble-Wooblians have played an incredible game, beloved by inanimate and animate creatures alike. That game is known as Paul. Paul is quite possibly the most popular game in Weeble-Wooble, and is enjoyed by things of all ages. Before I explain the rules and concept of the game, you should know the history of Paul. Paul was created in 6 million B.C. by an army ant named Luap and his cousin, a fish named Neff. There's really not that much more to the history. Well, onto the rules! Specially written by the current Paul champion, Luap himself!

The rules for Paul aren't actually that complex. The game requires eight-and-a-half players, one of which must be a fish.*  During the game, said fish must be strapped down to the floor completely while seven of the players tickle them. To win, the fish must not laugh for 49 consecutive hours. During this time, the other half player has to make a 50-foot ceramic statue of the fish. If they finish it before the 49 hours are up, the half player wins.

If the fish laughs at least once an hour for 107 hours straight, the ticklers win. If more than one tickler falls asleep during the game, the fish and the ticklers lose. If any of the ticklers stop tickling for even a second, the game starts over. If, during the game, the players somehow get destroyed by a nuclear warhead, anyone who says their names for the rest of time will turn into dirt. Last but not least, if the fish dies during play, everyone wins, including the dead fish.

*Two half-fish will work. Simply separate the fish half and the non-fish half from each of the fish. Put the fish halves together and microwave the non-fish halves until the game is over.

Jim and The Buffalo #2! (58)

Jim and Bub were exploring the universe as usual, when Bub started getting sleepy. As we all know, it's illegal for a buffalo to pilot while sleepy. So Bub let Jim take the wheel. (Actually, Martian spaceships have multi-level keyboards, not wheels). Jim was nervous at first but surprisingly, he was an excellent pilot.

Jim had been flying confidently through the Rodent quadrant for about half an hour when a squad of bunny fighters attacked the ship! Being new to space traveling, Jim didn't know that Planet Rabbit was the most dangerous and hostile planet in the entire galaxy. Jim was frozen in panic, but thankfully the attack woke up Bub. Bub mooed angrily at the attackers and activated the ship's lemon guns. When he started shooting, he mooed at Jim to fire the coyote cannon. The moment he fired it, all of the bunnies flew away as quick as they could. They'd done it! Jim and Bub had worked together to fight the bunny attackers! After such a hard fight, they needed to refuel. So they stopped at the planet of Very-Sharp-Knives.

The end

Adventures of Dawge Art Competition!

I am starting an art competition for the Adventures of Dawge blog! Draw any character, creature, place or anything else from Adventures of Dawge, and send it to dawgethecatfish@gmail.com. The best art will be put on pages in the upcoming Adventures Dawge Wiki, and might get featured in the Adventures of Dawge Novel! Bonus points to anyone who can make a good logo for Adventures of Dawge!