Jim and The Buffalo #1! (29)

    When we last saw Jim the lamp, he had been abducted by a buffalo in a spaceship. When we last saw the buffalo, Dawge had returned it to the aliens from planet ~. The buffalo really hated the aliens because they always fed him lime green grass when he really wanted to eat jade green grass. 

    When the aliens had stopped at mars for a rest stop, the buffalo hi-jacked their spaceship and went back to earth to try to get Dawge. As you all know, buffaloes from the planet ~ have very poor eyesight. So when the buffalo was trying to get Dawge, he got Jim the lamp instead. When he noticed that Jim wasn't a mutated catfish with metal arms, he was going to send him back. Jim is very good company, however, so the two of them decided to fly around looking for cool space stuff.

    Jim was quite shocked when he met the buffalo. He was also relieved because now he never had to go to school again! The buffalo had good food and fun stuff to do, so he stayed. He called his dad on his steak-phone, to let him know he would get back late, and named the buffalo Bub.

                      THE END

Dawge #26! Weeble-Wooble's muffin eclipse! (28)

     As most of you probably know, there was an eclipse a couple days ago. In Weeble-Wooble there are lunar eclipses, solar eclipses, and muffin eclipses! I'll tell you what a muffin eclipse is in a minute, first I want to make sure you know about how Weeble-Wooble works.

     Weeble-Wooble is a dodecahedron that is hidden in the depths of our solar system. One day on earth would be about ten days on Weeble-Wooble. There are fifteen moons around it which is why lunar eclipses happen so often for them. 

     Technically, Weeble-Wooble isn't a planet. It's actually a huge twelve sided die wich is occaisionally rolled around by a giant, yahtzee-playing dragon named Phil that doesn't actually know how to play yahtzee. If you're on Weeble-Wooble, you can see that the numbers make mountains. Since Phil is so big, he has his own gravitational pull, so Weeble-Wooble orbits around him. And now you know about Weeble-Wooble!

                      The End

Dawge #25! How to get to Weeble-Wooble! (27)

    To get to Weeble-Wooble. You need to hold a foot long pickle in your left hand and wear a kangaroo on your head. While still holding the pickle and wearing the kangaroo, take a small private jet to New Jersey. If you don't have a private jet, most other forms of transportation will work, but not Toyota brand cars! It doesn't matter how close you are to New Jersey, or if you already are there, get there anyway! Once in New Jersey, find a computer and type "{&}*879=jkl;+[^^%^]=Q" then press "delete". This will take you to the heart of the internet. Find the door that says "Definitely not Weeble-Wooble", open it, and go inside. You will find yourself in Argentina. Once there, find another door that says Mexico, open it, and go inside. You will then be in Weeble-Wooble. Yay! To get back, do these steps backwards.

Dawge #24! Super Dawg's Origin Story! (26)

    A year ago, Dawge was walking home from one of Goat's parties when he was struck by lightning! As you all know, mutated catfish are immune to lightning, so Dawge was perfectly fine while he walked home. When he went to bed that night he took off his robotic arms, got out of his rocket bucket, and fell asleep in his gorilla-shaped bed. 

    The next morning, Dawge noticed that a small toaster was stuck on his back. He wasn't worried, because a lot of things had gotten stuck on his back before: books, video game consoles, pie, other mutated catfish, and even Bob. When he touched the toaster, a toaster-shaped suit of armor appeared around him. He became stronger, faster, more charismatic, and slightly smaller. He could also shoot laser toast from the toaster slots on his chest! Dawge learned how to control the armor with his mind and became Super Dawg! (He left out the "e" so no one would know his alter ego.)

Dawge #23! Back to School Edition! (25)

    Today is the first day of school for Bob's lamp, Jim. He's nervous because he is going to a seal school. Bob works as an intern at a Circle K, so he found the cheapest school and signed Jim up. 

    Jim got up today, ate breakfast, got his backpack, and went to school. There are a lot of things that make seal school different from people school. The main thing that Jim found out first is that seals don't wear backpacks. Jim was mocked a lot because he had a backpack. When he got to lunch, the seals mocked him because he ate by plugging himself into an outlet instead of eating fish. At recess, Jim wasn't mocked at all, because at this point a buffalo in a spaceship picked Jim up and promised him adventure.

    I have a feeling that Bob will be very disappointed that Jim ran away from school on the first day.