Dawge #32! The Tree That Wouldn't Listen (37)

Today, I would like to type another Weeble-Wooble fable. This one has a moral, and is called The Tree That Wouldn't Listen.

A long time ago, there was a hill. On this hill, there was a tree. This tree loved the sun. Every day, she would wake up and feel the sun on her bark. She loved to watch the sun set every night over the beautiful purple mountains.  She loved everything about her life, except for the fact that she couldn't move. Every day she would see people walking to and fro beneath her hill. And every day, she longed to be able to move.

One day, when the tree was feeling very glum, a famous magician walked by her hill. The tree, knowing of the magician's great magical feats, asked him if he could give her legs to walk and move. The magician agreed and said that he would come back with a potion the next day. The tree was overjoyed and told all of her friends about the magician. Her friends told her that he was an evil magician and would trick her. The tree ignored them, too happy at the thought of walking and running and all sorts of things.

When the magician came back the next evening, he gave his potion to the tree. She absorbed it through her roots with jubilation. As it took effect, she shrank, her skin became softer, her leaves turned to fur, and she took the form of a mole. She had legs, but her friends were right! The magician had tricked her, and before she could ask him to change her back, he was gone. Because of her ignorance, she would never see the sun again.

The moral of this story is to trust your friends. And even though someone's offer sounds amazing, make sure there isn't a catch before you jump right in.

Dawge #31! Dragon's Thanksgiving (36)

Some of you might assume that these stories are made up by some insane young boy. That couldn't be farther from the truth, unless you thought this was a blog for robot-making ideas that was written by an octopus. 

These stories are about Dawge's life. He would write them himself, but his robotic arms don't have articulated fingers. When Dragon found out about this, he wanted me to write about his life, because he is to small to reach the keyboard. This is Dragon's Thanksgiving.

I know that I told you that Dragon was a mouse. But I was wrong. He is actually a dragon born with a physical deformity that made him almost the exact same size and shape of a mouse. So, every year, Dragon goes to Dragonville to celebrate thanksgiving with his dragon family.

When Dragon got to the train station, he noticed that something was wrong. The train had been mysteriously turned into a banana! I bet this Qaat did this! Thought Dragon. So Dragon borrowed Spork's compass rose and flew to Dragonville. When he got there, Dragonville was actually Sheepville!  How did that happen? I followed the directions exactly! Then Dragon remembered that he had already gone to Dragonville for Thanksgiving two weeks ago, and that he was dreaming. Dragon woke up in his bed and started reading on of Aardvark Q. Pook's books called "How to make the perfect bee beard".

Super Dawg #5! Super Dawg vs Dr. Kaat (35)

One day, while Qaat was in his tower, he was reading Weeble-Wooble's weekly newspaper(called Weeble's Weekly)and saw all the good things that Super Dawg had been doing. He thought that Super Dawg needed to be stopped. Qaat made himself some really cool robotic wings, a motorcycle helmet with a one-way mirror on the front so only he could see out, and a black suit to cover his body. 

Over the next few days, Qaat made a laser fork gun, an ultra-power water gun, and the cool villain name, Dr. Kaat. Finally he was ready to confront Super Dawg. When he did, they had an epic battle! Super Dawg almost took down Dr. Kaat with laser toast, but Dr. Kaat shot a laser fork and some water at him, and our hero was disabled! It looked like the end for Super Dawg, but as Dr. Kaat was about to give the final blow, a rumble shook the world and a giant lemon erupted out of the ground, gave Dr. Kaat an uppercut with his beefy arms, and said, "You're safe now, Super Dawg." And he went back into the ground as it closed up behind him.

                      THE END

Super Dawg #4! How Super Dawg Invented Potatoes! (34)

Apologies, this post does not exist. It was brutally tickled out of existence by an abnormally talkative, pink shoelace named Miranda. This is that story.

    One fateful Smarch mafternoon, Super Dawg was retelling the story of how he invented potatoes to Aiden to transcribe. He was just getting to the part with Superman, when a shoelace burst into the room! It was packing heat and it wanted revenge!
    "Thought you were rid of me, didn't you, Super Dawg!?" The shoelace yelled angrily. 
    "I thought I took care of you, Miranda! I ate that chocolate milk and everything!" Super Dawg replied, surprised.
    "Of course you would think that, wouldn't you! But no matter, I'm back now, and I'm going to stop your story from being published, if it's the last thing thing I do!"
    Miranda pulled out her AK Feather-7 and tickled the computer that Aiden was typing on.
    "Mwahaha! Now the true story of potatoes will never be known!" And it wasn't.

The End

Super Dawg #3! Super Dawg and The Power-Fluff Gerbils! (33)

It was a boring day for Dawge, when suddenly, the emergency pigeon started flashing. He checked it and it said that the towel dragon was terrorizing people and bratwurst stands all across Taco Street! Using his amazing charismatic abilities, Dawge willed the toaster on his back into a suit of armor. He was now Super Dawg, the crime-fighting catfish! 

When Super Dawg got to Taco Street, three gerbils were already flying and shooting lasers from their puffy cheeks at the towel dragon! Even though he was surprised that there were other super heroes in Weeble-Wooble, Super Dawg helped the Power-Fluff Gerbils put the towel dragon in jail. They made sure all the bratwurst stands were fixed before heading home.

A few days later, Super Dawg asked the Power-Fluff Gerbils who they were. They told him that they were genetically mutated gerbillinae with incredible powers. They also told him that Goat made them, so if they ever turned evil for some reason it was his fault. *wink*


                       THE END

Dawge #30! Special Halloween Edition! (32)

It was a dark and stormy Halloween eve. Qaat was scheming in his evil tower, trying to think of a way to ruin Dawge's Halloween. Suddenly, he thought of what would possibly be his greatest scheme yet! Seeing as how he'd never done an evil scheme, planting petunias could be this idea. But it wasn't! He went to Goat's magical pumpkin patch that was next to a nuclear power plant and poured a vat of growth serum. "Now these pumpkins will be to big for anyone to carve! Mhawhahahahaha!!!!!" 

During the night, the pumpkins mutated horrendously! When everyone woke up, pumpkin zombies were everywhere! Dragon knew exactly what to do. He went into his secret underground bunker and grabbed all his zombie fighting gear: His machete, flamethrower, shield, and squirrel armor (armor that is squirrel skin in the shape of a squirrel). He went out of his house only to find out that the zombie pumpkins were actually perfectly healthy puppies! And so everyone got a cute little puppy. Except for Qaat. He's allergic.

                                The End

Dawge #29! Windy 6423 edition! Part 2! (31)

The racers are ready to start their engines. But wait, there is a last minute entry! A small mutated dogfish, named Qaat, will be competing in the race in a miniature apache helicopter. Qaat's helicopter is starting right next to Dawge. "May the best fish win!" Says Dawge, cheerfully. Qaat, glaring at Dawge, opens his mouth to say something, but before he can, Goat says, "I plan to."

A small rock is floating above them. First it turns red, then it turns yellow, finally it turns puce and the race begins! Dragon takes the lead, but Spork is right behind him. Dawge is in third place with Qaat on his tail. Goat and Fly were distracted by a food truck, and are now enjoying a delicious bowl of mac 'n cheese. Dragon starts to have engine problems and makes a pit stop. Dawge takes advantage, and gets as close to Spork as he can. Qaat, clearly annoyed, shoots a couple of missiles at Spork. She tries to dodge, but the east on her compass rose is blown off. Spork spins out of control, falling behind to third place.

Dawge and Qaat are neck and neck. Who knew albino war gorillas could get as fast as a helicopter? Nearing the finish line, Qaat makes a final attempt to cheat by giving Dawge a pie. But Dragon had finished half an hour ago! His engine problems were actually a magical teleportation piston that had put him right at the finish line. Dragon was given the infinite donut trophy, and Dawge and Qaat swore to be mortal enemies!
  

Dawge #28! Windy 6423 edition! (30)

Dear readers, I am glad to be back. Remembering to write a new post every Tuesday got harder. I also had writer's block for a while. But now, I present to you ... Weeble-Wooble's annual race! The Windy 6423!

Every year in September, Weeble-Wooble has a race called the Windy 6423! Creatures and inanimate objects from all over their dodecahedron-shaped world get a car (or anything else really, the rules aren't too specific) and compete to get the amazing doughnut trophy! 

There are five competitors in the race. This year, our racers are Bob, with a lamp-shaped car in remembrance of Jim; Dawge, on the back of an albino war gorilla; Fly, riding underneath the magically-floating-sun-disk-of-Ra; Goat, in his backhoe house; Spork, riding her compass rose that she stole from Abraham Lincoln; and Dragon, driving a Chevy Equinox. Find out how they do next week!

Jim and The Buffalo #1! (29)

    When we last saw Jim the lamp, he had been abducted by a buffalo in a spaceship. When we last saw the buffalo, Dawge had returned it to the aliens from planet ~. The buffalo really hated the aliens because they always fed him lime green grass when he really wanted to eat jade green grass. 

    When the aliens had stopped at mars for a rest stop, the buffalo hi-jacked their spaceship and went back to earth to try to get Dawge. As you all know, buffaloes from the planet ~ have very poor eyesight. So when the buffalo was trying to get Dawge, he got Jim the lamp instead. When he noticed that Jim wasn't a mutated catfish with metal arms, he was going to send him back. Jim is very good company, however, so the two of them decided to fly around looking for cool space stuff.

    Jim was quite shocked when he met the buffalo. He was also relieved because now he never had to go to school again! The buffalo had good food and fun stuff to do, so he stayed. He called his dad on his steak-phone, to let him know he would get back late, and named the buffalo Bub.

                      THE END

Dawge #26! Weeble-Wooble's muffin eclipse! (28)

     As most of you probably know, there was an eclipse a couple days ago. In Weeble-Wooble there are lunar eclipses, solar eclipses, and muffin eclipses! I'll tell you what a muffin eclipse is in a minute, first I want to make sure you know about how Weeble-Wooble works.

     Weeble-Wooble is a dodecahedron that is hidden in the depths of our solar system. One day on earth would be about ten days on Weeble-Wooble. There are fifteen moons around it which is why lunar eclipses happen so often for them. 

     Technically, Weeble-Wooble isn't a planet. It's actually a huge twelve sided die wich is occaisionally rolled around by a giant, yahtzee-playing dragon named Phil that doesn't actually know how to play yahtzee. If you're on Weeble-Wooble, you can see that the numbers make mountains. Since Phil is so big, he has his own gravitational pull, so Weeble-Wooble orbits around him. And now you know about Weeble-Wooble!

                      The End

Dawge #25! How to get to Weeble-Wooble! (27)

    To get to Weeble-Wooble. You need to hold a foot long pickle in your left hand and wear a kangaroo on your head. While still holding the pickle and wearing the kangaroo, take a small private jet to New Jersey. If you don't have a private jet, most other forms of transportation will work, but not Toyota brand cars! It doesn't matter how close you are to New Jersey, or if you already are there, get there anyway! Once in New Jersey, find a computer and type "{&}*879=jkl;+[^^%^]=Q" then press "delete". This will take you to the heart of the internet. Find the door that says "Definitely not Weeble-Wooble", open it, and go inside. You will find yourself in Argentina. Once there, find another door that says Mexico, open it, and go inside. You will then be in Weeble-Wooble. Yay! To get back, do these steps backwards.

Dawge #24! Super Dawg's Origin Story! (26)

    A year ago, Dawge was walking home from one of Goat's parties when he was struck by lightning! As you all know, mutated catfish are immune to lightning, so Dawge was perfectly fine while he walked home. When he went to bed that night he took off his robotic arms, got out of his rocket bucket, and fell asleep in his gorilla-shaped bed. 

    The next morning, Dawge noticed that a small toaster was stuck on his back. He wasn't worried, because a lot of things had gotten stuck on his back before: books, video game consoles, pie, other mutated catfish, and even Bob. When he touched the toaster, a toaster-shaped suit of armor appeared around him. He became stronger, faster, more charismatic, and slightly smaller. He could also shoot laser toast from the toaster slots on his chest! Dawge learned how to control the armor with his mind and became Super Dawg! (He left out the "e" so no one would know his alter ego.)

Dawge #23! Back to School Edition! (25)

    Today is the first day of school for Bob's lamp, Jim. He's nervous because he is going to a seal school. Bob works as an intern at a Circle K, so he found the cheapest school and signed Jim up. 

    Jim got up today, ate breakfast, got his backpack, and went to school. There are a lot of things that make seal school different from people school. The main thing that Jim found out first is that seals don't wear backpacks. Jim was mocked a lot because he had a backpack. When he got to lunch, the seals mocked him because he ate by plugging himself into an outlet instead of eating fish. At recess, Jim wasn't mocked at all, because at this point a buffalo in a spaceship picked Jim up and promised him adventure.

    I have a feeling that Bob will be very disappointed that Jim ran away from school on the first day.  

Dawge #22! (24)

'Twas the night before Frikijerplurt Day and all through the lake 
not a butcher was stirring. Not even Ted. 
The hot dogs were laid on the counter with care 
in hopes that some hungry folks soon would be there. 
The monkeys were sleeping, snug in their beds 
as visions of schnitzel danced in their heads. 
With Dawge in his kilt, and I dressed as the Joker 
we had just settled down for some nice, evening poker. 
When out on the lawn the world was decaying ... 
I didn't care that much, so I went back to playing.



                      The End

Super Dawg #2! (23)

It was a dark and stormy night in Weeble-Wooble. Dawge was on his couch, eating more Hot Pockets, when he got an alert on the Dawg-phone!
"This is urgent, Super Dawg!" said Mayor Steve. "Come here quick!"

Dawge got into his toaster-suit, and Ubered to the mayor as fast as he could. "What's the problem, mayor?" Super Dawg asked in his super manly voice.
"I can't open this pickle jar!" said the mayor.
Super Dawg used his super strong robotic arm to open the jar.
"You saved us all Super Dawg!"  
"Just doing my job mayor."
And the day was saved again by Super Dawg, the crime-fighting catfish!

Dawge #21! 1st Anniversary Edition! (22)

I am happy to announce, that Adventures of Dawge has been around for a year! 😄­ Technically, last month was the first anniversary, but I wasn't paying attention. Adventures of Dawge's anniversary will be on May 15th from now on!

I now present you with!..... DAWGE #21 (ANNIVERSARY EDITION!!!!!!)

One day, Goat was walking on Taco street, when he came upon a pet shop. The shop had a lot of small pets, so Goat bought three gerbils. He named them Betty, Floofers, and Not-Betty. When he got home, he fed them some hamster food. Little did he know, the hamster food was actually chemical-X! And thus the Power-Fluff Gerbils were born! They put on cute, little gerbil clothes and defended Weeble-Wooble from evil! The End.

The Most Epic Dawge Post! (21)

                    A LONG TIME AGO 
           ON A COUCH FAR, FAR AWAY...










                                    






                                   ... Dawge was eating a Hot Pocket.

Ask Dawge #2 (20)

I'm sorry for taking so long to answer, but here is the first question from Scafturon Ranisate. "What advice do you have for kids ages 7-12 who are moving to Korea? We have mixed feelings right now." Take the subway as many places as you can, and explore. For such a small country, there are a lot of things to do, especially in Seoul. There are a few apps that can help you navigate the area. Also, it's an important part of Korean culture to protect and help children. If an older person leads your child down stairs, or gives them a tomato on the subway (It's happened) don't be surprised or worried. Second, learn the language and the writing(Hangeul). It took me two hours to learn enough to read signs and order at restaurants. There are some words that are written in Hangeul, but when you read it out loud, it sounds the same as the English word. Last, the food is delicious! Some things sound weird, but they're still really good. I hope that this helped, and that you want to go to Korea.

Ask Dawge #1 (19)

Hello my fans! This is Dawge. I was getting a little tired of letting Gov get all the attention, so I decided to start a little segment called 'Ask Dawge'. Here, you can ask me questions about me or my friends through the comments, or email me. So, ask away!

Dawge #20!!! (18)

It's tradition, at Fly's house, to dress up pigs in skirts, and teach them to river dance on Valentines Day.

Goat like to make ducks out of eggs and other fowl things.

Dragon's favorite thing is to wonder what his favorite thing is.

Dawge had a bison for awhile. It got hard to raise, so he gave it back to the aliens he stole it from.

Dawge! #19 (17)

These are directions to Dawge's house, written by Dawge himself.

First, go through the Arc of Doom, and follow the dotted path around the Hill of Harmless Radioactivity. Then, go through the Forest of Rabid-Werewolf-Monkeys, where you will probably be killed and turned into ghosts. After that, it's just a straight plummet to certain death that will take you to the Underworld. From there, my remote mountain cabin will be right up ahead. However, there are several critical demons guarding the mountain. They can't move, but they will silently judge you.

And that's how you get to Dawge's house

Dawge! #18 (16)

In the summer, Goat likes to take dancing lessons from a parasol.

Fly is about as belligerent as a dandelion.

Dragon has a tiny, freckled mole-rat named Veronica.

Dawge prefers the phrase "leaping lemurs!"when he is surprised. Which, if you think about it, makes more sense than "leaping lizards".

The Characters #2 (15)

Since I've been adding some more characters, I think that I need to explain who is what. 

Dawge: A mutated catfish with robotic arms and either robotic legs, or a floating chair/bucket.

Goat: A snake that lives in an abandoned backhoe. 

Dragon: A fire-breathing mouse with a thimble for a hat.

Fly: An elephant with anxiety issues.

Bob: A flea with a pet lamp named Jim.

Irammi: A tall owl with a propeller beanie.

Spork: That squirrel with the weird ring-tone from the Super Dawg post.

There you have it! Those were the characters of Weeble-Wooble. Let me know if I forgot anyone. Comment if you have any ideas for future characters, or if I should cut some.

Dawge! #17 (14)

Instead of playing baseball with bats, the people of Weeble-Wooble play pancake with kielbasas.

The amazing writer, Aardvark Q. Pook, made thousands of bee beards.

Dawge's shower curtain is covered in tiny, little harpsichords.

To ski jump, or not to wear crocks?