Spork, Private Eye #1 (62)

Spork was sitting in the park one day when she saw Dr. Kaat flying around. Knowing that he was bad news, Spork got up and danced away. When she was at about 50 feet away from Dr. Kaat, her phone started ringing. Help!, Exclaimed the phone. Spork answered right away,

"Hello?" She said in a really cool, intense voice, "Spork, Private Eye speaking."

"Yes," said a rather frantic and seal-sounding voice, "My nose has been kidnapped!"

"Got it, ma'am. I'll be right there."

Spork put her phone back in her cheek-pouch and started up her compass rose. She had only flown for 42.7 seconds, when Abraham Lincoln jumped from the heavens onto her compass rose.

"How dare you steal from me?! You shall-"

Lincoln was cut off as Spork kicked him off of her rose.

"I'll get you, Spork! If it's the last thing I do!"

"Yeah, whatever," said Spork, knowing that Abe was a big wuss.

Spork continued flying until she finally reached her destination; a huge, completely accurate bread carving of Avengers Tower. The seal ran up to her immediately.

"Thank you for coming here at such short notice, Detective," said the seal.

"Of course, Ms.-"

"Kabob. Kumquat Kabob."

"Ms. Kabob. Now, when did you last see your nose?"

"It was in the kitchen making me dinner, as it always does on Tuesday nights."

"Alright," said Spork, taking notes, "When did it go missing?"

"That same night, as we were watching the latest documentary by Varg Unikoorn. I turned to look at my nose after a funny line, but it was gone!"

"I see," said Spork, a nose instead of a pencil in her paw,

"Wait!" exclaimed Kumquat, "That's my nose!"

"Oh, this pencil?"

"No! That blueberry over by that tree!" said Kumquat, pointing towards the blueberry,

"Well then, I guess this case is closed. Another mystery solved by Spork, Private Eye."

The End

Adventuring with Fly #1 (61)

After his rather strange expedition to find the Ningen, Fly decided to go find other supposedly mystical creatures and anomalies. His next adventure would be to Cabo Rojo, Puerto Rico, in search of the legendary Goatsucker, also known as The Chupacabra. Thankfully, Bill and Joe (the cryptozoologists from Fly's last expedition) were willing to join Fly again. Fly also recruited a Spanish translator named Jorge in case the Chupacabra didn't speak English. Here is the logbook Fly kept:

Day 1: We haven't gotten to Puerto Rico yet, but I was getting bored just sitting in the airport. I really needed to write something. Our flight has been delayed three hours already.

Day 4: Still in the airport. Apparently, the plane forgot all of its passengers after already being delayed two days. More updates on the way.

Day 5: Finally on the plane. We've been waiting on the tarmac for five hours due to engine problems. Hopefully We'll get to leave soon.

Day 17: I can't remember what food tastes like. There are still engine troubles!! I'm pretty certain that the crew has forgotten us!

Day 32: Finally! We're taking off! Never have I yearned for airplane food with such ferocity! Chupacabra, prepare to be found!

Day 35: Well, the airport took us to Russia. Yeah. We've booked another flight, and will hopefully get to Puerto Rico soon.

Day 40: ENGINE PROBLEMS AGAIN!! What is wrong with this airplane company!?

Day 100: Yeah, I gave up.

The End