Goat [insert action] #1! Jebediah The Sky Giraffe (68)

Goat was driving his kiwi along his usual newspaper route, when he saw a black dot in the sky. Now, this, of course, was nothing new; the sky of Weeble-Wooble was covered in black dots each called Bruce Willis. What made this Bruce Willis stand out was that its name wasn't Bruce Willis, it was A-large-meteor-that's-going-to-crash-into-you-Goat.

The non-Bruce Willis got bigger and bigger until it was almost about to crash into Goat! But then it stopped abruptly, 17.32 inches from his third eye. That was when Goat found that is wasn't Bruce Willis or a meteor; it was an airship about the size of a school bus.

When the airship fell to the ground abruptly, a small, bipedal giraffe wearing a tailcoat and a monocle hopped off of the deck and greeted Goat.

"Hello, sir!" the giraffe said with an English accent. "My name is Jebediah, but you can call me Jeb. You see, I was flying my airship around as usual, when the most peculiar thing happened; there was this gigantic duck--which reminds me of something my great-uncle Stefan once said, "If you can't fight the beaver..."

Goat zoned out, because Jeb's yammering was really boring. So, he went to his Imagination Land! the place in his head where he pretended that he was a part of his favorite soap opera, A Jelly Bean Named Gilbert.

In his Imagination Land!, Goat always played the part of Leonard the butler, who was the king of HotDogland. He was just about to hand over the key to the city to Gilbert, when he woke up.

"...said YOU SUCK!!" Jebediah screamed at the top of his lungs, then collapsed and started crying gently.

Goat had no idea what Jeb had been talking about, so he just awkwardly kneeled down next to him and pet him on the back as he muttered to himself, "Stupid Larry."

The End

Windy 6423 #2! (67)

It's that time again! Dawge, Fly, Bob, Goat, Dragon, and Qaat are polishing their rides. Dawge is riding on his turquoise, flaming, emo emu; Fly is on his famous flying rocking chair; Bob is in a stroller with rocket boosters; Goat is scooting around on five raw chickens; Dragon is driving in his winning Chevy Equinox; and Qaat is inside a giant robotic armadillo.

They drove to the starting line, everyone throwing pebbles with excitement. The small starting rock turned red, then yellow, then finally it turned into grapes. The racers were off!

Qaat took the lead with Bob literally on his tail. Dawge was behind him. Goat was in last place.

The emo emu got upset and started running into the armadillo, thrashing his head into it with everything he's got!

"No! My armadillo!" Yelled Qaat, "You'll pay for this, Dawge! This Armadillo cost 🐟500,999,888! Armadillo, get him!"

The armadillo started running after Dawge and his emo emu.

"Sorry, Qaat. You can't attack me!" Said Dawge, "It's against the rules!"

"Curses!!!!" Howled Qaat. They both started racing again.

They finally reached the end, but Qaat got there right before Dawge. Qaat smiled evilly. The trophy appeared, but not in Qaat's flippers, it appeared in Goat's tail. Dawge and Qaat came in last place. Goat never mistreated raw chickens again.

Spork, Private Eye #2! The Creation of Spprk! (66)

    Spork had been wondering about Super Dawg. Who was he? Where did he come from? Did he have hair or fur? And most importantly of all, where was the middle toe on his left foot?
    Spork wanted to find out. She had just started putting together a π-D wall map when all of a sudden, something got tossed out the door to Argentina!
    As any private eye would, Spork went to investigate. As she predicted, it was another case. But this one wasn't a normal case. This case... was brief.
    Hours later, she was still working on it in her office. Knowing the case was brief, she had put off the investigations of Super Dawg. She was wondering if she should maybe go back to it, as the brief case had turned out not to be so brief.
    And then it hit her. A time-space strawberry pop tart. It hit Spork so hard that it split, and as a result, Weeble-Wooble was momentarily split into two different timelines.
    In one timeline, Spork fused with the time-space strawberry pop tart, which had been almost completely drained of its time-space power, and gave the last of it to Spork. As a result, Spork turned into Spprk, the best detective to ever live! Using her deductive reasoning, she quickly concluded that Super Dawg was none other than Dawge!
    In the other timeline, Spork decided to go back to the Super Dawg mystery for a bit. After a few minutes, she had narrowed down the possible candidates to Dawge, Goat, and Dragon. Then she remembered the Windy 6423, and how the tied runner-ups, Dawge and Qaat, had sworn to be mortal enemies. She also remembered that Qaat had a PhD in evil science. Therefore, Qaat was Dr. Kaat, and since Dr. Kaat and Super Dawg were always fighting, that meant Super Dawg was Dawge! After reaching this conclusion, Spork thought she'd try being a superhero herself. So she put on the time-space strawberry pop tart, which had been almost completely drained of its time-space power, and gave the last of it to Spork. As a result, Spork turned into Spprk, the best detective to ever live!
    Once both Sporks had turned into Spprk, the timelines collapsed into one. Due to this, Spprk now believes she acquired her knowledge of Super Dawg's secret identity and her powers from eating a carrot shaped like a bus.

The End