Dawge #45! Goat Vs. A Car Salesman Named Roy (51)

Goat's mom had called him, saying that he should visit. Being the absent-minded snake that he is, Goat agreed, and said he would visit tomorrow, despite the fact that he didn't have a car and his mom lived in New Jersey. Now, Goat didn't know this, but New Jersey is about forty million miles away from Weeble-Wooble. The only way to get there was by car or pancakes, and Goat does not make enough money for a pancake ticket. So, the logical thing to do would be to jump into a bowl of sauerkraut and pray to the non-existent Weeble-Wooble gods that you would be somehow be teleported to New Jersey. Goat didn't do that. He went to a car dealership and tried to get a car.

When Goat got to Krazy Kars 'n Stuff, the first thing he noticed was that the cheapest car there was actually just a lemon with rear view mirror taped to it. But, to be honest, it was a great deal. The second thing he noticed was that the most expensive car was also a lemon with a rear view mirror taped on. A car salesman eventually walked up to him. 

"Hello." The man said, in a rather unexcited tone. "Welcome to Krazy Kars 'n Stuff. How may I help you?"

"Hi!" Goat looked at the man's name tag which read 'Roy', "Roy, I'm looking for a car."

"Well, you came to the right place." Replied Roy, rather monotone. 

Goat was confused. All he saw in the car lot were fruits. Most of which were far too small to ride on.

"Are you sure?" Asked Goat, "All I see here is fruit."

Roy replied, "I don't know what you're talking about, there are cars all around you, see?" Roy gestured to a small, overripe watermelon with a license plate glued to it.

Goat didn't want to make to much of a fuss, so went along with Roy,

"Okay, Roy. I need something small that can get me to New Jersey."

"In that case," Roy explained, "I would recommend this one." 

Roy walked Goat over to a kiwi with a car key stuck into it. Goat looked at the price tag for the "car". The price was fourteen ducks. Fortunately, this was exactly what Goat had in his wallet! Goat pulled out the ducks with an impressively minimal amount of effort, considering these ducks were rather upset after being stuck in Goat's pocket for a while.

"I'll take it!" Goat told Roy.

"Splendid." Roy said in an incredibly bored voice. 

Goat gave Roy the ducks and took home his kiwi. Goat, being a go-with-the-flow sort of snake, hopped on his new "car" and drove to his mom's house, where he and she shared a lovely evening full of tea and surprisingly talkative pillows. 

The End

(Please follow this blog and share it with your friends!)

Dawge #44! 2nd Anniversary Edition! (50)

I can't believe it! I've been publishing Adventures of Dawge for two years now! And over the years, a lot has changed: I've started writing full-fledged short stories instead of just random sentences; Lots of new characters have joined us; (Including Qaat, Bubs, and Urghh) And Mr. Bubblehead became president! 

To celebrate this momentous occasion, I would like to share a poem, written by Dawge himself:

An Ode To Random.

Through the arc of doom
I think of large giraffes

And little baby buffalo
Wearing multi-colored hats

Rabid werewolf-monkeys
And demons that are snobs

An evil flying dogfish
That's stinking at his job

A semi-worried flea
Who quite misses his son

And little lemon creatures
That eat people for fun

But when day is over
And when the sun is set

Nothing makes me quite as happy
As Urghh doing The Nutcracker ballet.

Dawge #43! Dawge's Guide To Not Fishing! (49)

Dawge's Guide To Not Fishing:
Step 1: Don't go to the local Mart-Mart and buy a fishing pole.
Step 2: Don't also buy a whole bunch of fishing lures and bait.
Step 3: Don't get yourself a cool fishing outfit like this:

Step 4: Don't get an awesome-looking fishing boat.

Step 5: Don't gather together all of your friends, give them fishing poles and      outfits, and bring them fishing with you.

Step 6: Don't take a cool, long car trip to get to a really big lake.

Step 7: Don't stop at the big lake and gawk at the beauty of it.

Step 8: Don't get in the boat and out onto the lake.

Step 9: DON'T GO FISHING

And that is how you not fish.