Dragon, Monster Hunter #3! Lucy Goes Missing! (89)

Dragon was strolling through the bagpipe ranch when he saw Bob counting his bagpipes.

"Hi, Bob!" Dragon said cheerfully. He reached out his hand for Bob to shake it.

"No!" Bob shouted.

"Well, I know my hands aren't the cleanest, but-" Dragon started.

"No!" Bob said. "Not that! Look!" He pointed to his bagpipe pen. It was full of gloop, rainbows, and half the bagpipes were cardboard cutouts!

Dragon gasped. "Bob..." He started. "Nothing changed."

"Sorry. The OTHER pen." He pointed to the pen that was titled: The OTHER pen.

One of the bagpipes was missing!

"Dragon! A monster took one of my precious babies! LUCY!!"

A monster, eh? Thought Dragon, It's about time. "Don't worry, Bob! I will save your bagpipe." 

"Thank you, Dragon! The monster went that a-way!" Bob stretched out his hand and pointed to the left, then straight, and then another left, then a loop-de-loop, then purple, then right, then corkscrew, then upside down backwards, then invisible, then into a large building.

And with that, Dragon was off! 

He turned left, then straight, then left, then a loop-de-loop, then purple, then right, then corkscrew, then upside down backwards, then invisible, then into a large building.

There he saw the Kraken sitting on a throne made out of lies and jello in the shape of Canada. And it looked like he was holding Lucy!

All right, Kraken. Dragon thought. It's go time. 

Dragon ran up to it, and challenged the Kraken to the famous Weeble-Wooblian sport: Kickball-unicycle-hockey: 1958 Rubber Duck Edition.

The Kraken accepted. This guy is so going down. Dragon thought.

After Dragon's defeat, the Kraken started playing Take On Me by A-ha on the clarinet. And he handed the bagpipe to Dragon.

Dragon took the bagpipe back to Bob.

"Uh...Lucy is The Kraken." Bob said.

Dragon face-palmed.

The End

Jim and The Buffalo #4! (88)

We join Jim the sentient lamp and Bub the buffalo as Jim is being taken by a giant intergalactic lemon-monster.

As Bub watched the monster grab his friend, he hit the button marked Super awesome mega weapon button! A giant bazooka came out of the ship. With it pointed right at the lemon-monster, Bub shot it.

Jim looked in disbelief at the bazooka. He was going to scream with surprise, but it was too late. The bubbles flew straight out of the bazooka right into the lemon-monster. 

The creature stumbled backwards, fell, and dropped Jim. Bub grabbed his pool skimmer and reached out for Jim, but it wasn't long enough.

"Hey!" A voice called, "Need some help?"

Bub turned and nodded. 

"Okay! Just hold on!" The voice calling was a Buh.

The Buh reached for Jim, but a giant gust of wind came and blew it away.

"Tell my story!" The Buh called as its voice grew fainter and fainter.

Bub started growing frantic. 

Just then, a gigantic chicken walked by, picked up Jim, dropped him in Bub's ship, and walked away.

Bub and Jim just looked at each other, hugged, then flew back to Weeble-Wooble.

The End

Dawge #64! TV (87)

Today was a nice, weird day. The bees were screaming, the birds were yodeling, the horse heads were on their motorcycles, and Dawge was ready to watch some TV!

Now, you've got to understand that Dawge wants to save his money; that means he doesn't have NetFlop, Hooplu, Amazon, or YoToby. So he has cable, or as it's called in Weeble-Wooble, John. 

"Well," said Dawge. "Time to watch some John!"

Dawge grabbed a pigeon from outside, cradled it carefully, then threw it at the TV to turn it on. Once the TV was on, the pigeon left gracefully.

Dawge grabbed the remote and started going through channels.

Obey the Lizard Overlords or Else! Dawge loved that one. But he saw it last night, so he went to a different channel. Life as a Burger! Dawge heard that his favorite actor, Kevin Bacon (you know, the hard boiled egg), was in that classic! But, then again, he was going to watch that tonight with Fly, and didn't want to accidentally spoil the end.

Next channel! No way! Dawge's absolute FAVORITE movie! Flying with Poodles! But Dawge knew that one was illegal. 

At this point, Dawge was going to give up. But then, as he went to a new channel, he saw the well-made, action packed movie, Manta-ray with Martial Arts! 

Dawge looked at the screen, eyes wide with excitement. He grabbed the remote, turned the volume up, and then he turned the TV off. He hates Manta-ray with Martial Arts.

The End