Dawge's Guide #8! Dawge's Guide to Owning A Multi-Million Dollar Industry! (86)

As I'm sure you all know by now, Dawge is the CEO of Walmart, a company that sells pretty much anything you could ever want! So today, Dawge would like to show you how you can start and own the next big company!

1. Start a store.

2. Sell something. This can literally be anything.

3. Stop getting business because you decided to sell the letter C.

4. Close your store.

5. Give up on your dream on becoming the next Walmart; it's not happening.

6a. Write an application for a job as the clown-chorister for the Weeble-Wooblian Squirrel Choir (they really need one).

6b. Send your application via the NEWWPS (Non-Existent Weeble-Wooble Postal Service).

7. Never get a response from the Squirrel Choir because: 
a) You're not "clowny" enough.
b) You're too "clowny".
c) You forgot to follow step 6b.
d) Squirrels can't write or send letters for religious reasons.
e) The NEWWPS doesn't actually exist, hence the name.

8. Um... get into high finance?

9. Ignore step 8 and just get a job at Walmart.

10. Forget you ever wanted to start your own store, because the thought will spiritually haunt you for the rest of your dog's life.

Poetry with Qaat #1! If You See a Hamster (85)

If you see a hamster gnawing sadly on a tree,
Make sure to never touch it, for it's poison, you can see.

If you wish to live, a smart suggestion you should take
is run away so very far away without a single break.

When the hamster starts to scream and calls you nasty names
Feel free to turn around and shout things equally profane.

Soon enough the cops will come around and take you both away
for screaming quite annoyingly. There's only you to blame.

And so because you chose to walk through risky hamster lands,
you're locked inside a jail ya doy, with shackles on your hands.

And now my warning's over with, I hope you will beware
of poison hamsters near and far, they're lurking everywhere.

Dawge #63! Bernard and The Magical Train of Fantasticalness! Part 1 (84)