Goat [insert action] #2! Some Actual Goats! (91)

Goat the snake was discussing perfectly normal and completely legal legitimate business with a bottle of root beer, when a yellow sheet of paper flew majestically through the air, doing loop-de-loops and all sorts of tricks before landing gracefully inside Goat's pancreas. After several hours of life-threatening surgery to remove the paper, Goat read it and discovered it was a coupon for 100% off any purchase at a Goat spa! Although he was a snake, his name was Goat and he loved spas, so he decided to give it a go.

When Goat made it to the spa, he noticed it was different from others... It had a tennis court! He made it inside and asked the sausage at the counter for a full-experience goat's day. The sausage agreed without a second thought, since sausages don't have brains. The sausage took Goat to a changing room for him to put on a tiny, comfy little robe.

Once Goat managed to fit his non-existent legs through the four leg holes in the robe, he dove into a pit of pudding with a fiery passion! And then laid on his back peacefully while multicolored badgers somehow managed to give him a manicure. After about 74.23 minutes of relaxation, Goat looked up to see the entire spa full of goats! He jumped out of the pudding pit to investigate.

Goat strode through the halls looking at the name tags on the robes all the goats were wearing. He saw three goats named Hans, two named Karl, and several dozen named Friedrich. Then, he realized his mistake: this wasn't a Goat spa with a capital G, it was a German spa with a capital G! And another mystery is solved, thanks to the genius-mastermind-ninja-alpha-geek-wizard that is Goat!

Super Dawg #7! Party Bus in Paris! (90)

Our favorite toaster-suit wearing, crime-fighting catfish, Super Dawg was patrolling the streets of Paris as he always does. He'd had a wonderful evening of enchantment, magic, and flaming baby cannons. 

He was about to head over to Zac Efron's house for a good old game of hopscotch, when he saw Madagascar over the horizon! We all know that Madagascar and France is not a good mix, so Super Dawg went over to shoo the island away gently. But when he got there, it wasn't Madagascar after all! It was actually a party bus! 

Before Super Dawg could do anything, the gorillas from the bus had tied him up, stuffed him in a jar of pickles, and locked him in a literal cage of resentment. He tried to escape, but gorillas are the best knot-tiers in the world! If there were gorillas around when Houdini was alive, he would have never stood a chance.

The more Super Dawg struggled, the flimsier the ropes became. He struggled and struggled and struggled some more, until the ropes finally lept off of him like really noodley ballerinas! The moment he was free, some ducks came at him with everything they had, and boy were they steamed. They were the masterminds of this operation, after all.

Thankfully, ducks are no match for the duck food-flinging prowess of Super Dawg! After the ducks had failed, it looked like everything was safe, but then came the actual Madagascar! It picked up on of the many ocean liners lying around and tickled all the remaining animals in Paris with it. 

Super Dawg stood up and dusted himself off. He saluted Madagascar for its bravery and Madagascar saluted back. The island then sunk back into the ocean and back to where it belonged: Kansas.

And, again, the day was saved by Madagascar!

The End

Dragon, Monster Hunter #3! Lucy Goes Missing! (89)

Dragon was strolling through the bagpipe ranch when he saw Bob counting his bagpipes.

"Hi, Bob!" Dragon said cheerfully. He reached out his hand for Bob to shake it.

"No!" Bob shouted.

"Well, I know my hands aren't the cleanest, but-" Dragon started.

"No!" Bob said. "Not that! Look!" He pointed to his bagpipe pen. It was full of gloop, rainbows, and half the bagpipes were cardboard cutouts!

Dragon gasped. "Bob..." He started. "Nothing changed."

"Sorry. The OTHER pen." He pointed to the pen that was titled: The OTHER pen.

One of the bagpipes was missing!

"Dragon! A monster took one of my precious babies! LUCY!!"

A monster, eh? Thought Dragon, It's about time. "Don't worry, Bob! I will save your bagpipe." 

"Thank you, Dragon! The monster went that a-way!" Bob stretched out his hand and pointed to the left, then straight, and then another left, then a loop-de-loop, then purple, then right, then corkscrew, then upside down backwards, then invisible, then into a large building.

And with that, Dragon was off! 

He turned left, then straight, then left, then a loop-de-loop, then purple, then right, then corkscrew, then upside down backwards, then invisible, then into a large building.

There he saw the Kraken sitting on a throne made out of lies and jello in the shape of Canada. And it looked like he was holding Lucy!

All right, Kraken. Dragon thought. It's go time. 

Dragon ran up to it, and challenged the Kraken to the famous Weeble-Wooblian sport: Kickball-unicycle-hockey: 1958 Rubber Duck Edition.

The Kraken accepted. This guy is so going down. Dragon thought.

After Dragon's defeat, the Kraken started playing Take On Me by A-ha on the clarinet. And he handed the bagpipe to Dragon.

Dragon took the bagpipe back to Bob.

"Uh...Lucy is The Kraken." Bob said.

Dragon face-palmed.

The End