Dawge #25! How to get to Weeble-Wooble! (27)

    To get to Weeble-Wooble. You need to hold a foot long pickle in your left hand and wear a kangaroo on your head. While still holding the pickle and wearing the kangaroo, take a small private jet to New Jersey. If you don't have a private jet, most other forms of transportation will work, but not Toyota brand cars! It doesn't matter how close you are to New Jersey, or if you already are there, get there anyway! Once in New Jersey, find a computer and type "{&}*879=jkl;+[^^%^]=Q" then press "delete". This will take you to the heart of the internet. Find the door that says "Definitely not Weeble-Wooble", open it, and go inside. You will find yourself in Argentina. Once there, find another door that says Mexico, open it, and go inside. You will then be in Weeble-Wooble. Yay! To get back, do these steps backwards.

Dawge #24! Super Dawg's Origin Story! (26)

    A year ago, Dawge was walking home from one of Goat's parties when he was struck by lightning! As you all know, mutated catfish are immune to lightning, so Dawge was perfectly fine while he walked home. When he went to bed that night he took off his robotic arms, got out of his rocket bucket, and fell asleep in his gorilla-shaped bed. 

    The next morning, Dawge noticed that a small toaster was stuck on his back. He wasn't worried, because a lot of things had gotten stuck on his back before: books, video game consoles, pie, other mutated catfish, and even Bob. When he touched the toaster, a toaster-shaped suit of armor appeared around him. He became stronger, faster, more charismatic, and slightly smaller. He could also shoot laser toast from the toaster slots on his chest! Dawge learned how to control the armor with his mind and became Super Dawg! (He left out the "e" so no one would know his alter ego.)

Dawge #23! Back to School Edition! (25)

    Today is the first day of school for Bob's lamp, Jim. He's nervous because he is going to a seal school. Bob works as an intern at a Circle K, so he found the cheapest school and signed Jim up. 

    Jim got up today, ate breakfast, got his backpack, and went to school. There are a lot of things that make seal school different from people school. The main thing that Jim found out first is that seals don't wear backpacks. Jim was mocked a lot because he had a backpack. When he got to lunch, the seals mocked him because he ate by plugging himself into an outlet instead of eating fish. At recess, Jim wasn't mocked at all, because at this point a buffalo in a spaceship picked Jim up and promised him adventure.

    I have a feeling that Bob will be very disappointed that Jim ran away from school on the first day.