Wednesday, October 24, 2018

ULTRA STORY! The Beginning of Weeble-Wooble (🌽)

NOTE: This post is not canon, as indicated by its post number being a food.

In the beginning, there was nothing. Then, there were cats! And from those cats, sprung Roshan, the spirit of Weeble-Wooble. Roshan looked like a panther with the hindquarters of a dragon, and he loved each and every one of the cats as if they were his own children

But one day, the cats started getting bored. They didn't really like floating around in space. It was very uncomfortable, and they were always bumping into each other. So, in order to cure the cats' boredom, Roshan created a new creature: a Dragon named Phil Sr. (The father of the Yahtzee-playing dragon who currently watches over Weeble-Wooble.) 

The cats were amazed by this new creature; he was completely different from them! He had wings, horns, scaly skin, and he could breathe fire! What's not to love! But the best part was that Phil had a huge bag of dice! Three-sided, four-sided, any kind of dice you could ever want! The cats loved to play with these dice; Roshan did too. In fact, he had a favorite die: the incredible twelve-sided die. Phil knew that Roshan loved this die (and he wanted to repay him for bringing him to life) so Phil let Roshan keep the die, and wouldn't let the cats touch it.

Roshan saw the cats were happy with their new best friend and all of his dice, so he decided to take a rest for a while. He put himself on his die, and fell asleep. When he did this, the die became huge! So big that millions of other cats could have fit on it. Phil still enjoyed floating around in space, so he grew along with the dice, so their sizes were proportional with each other. The cats did not change size, and decided to live on the die forever. They made small towns, and called the lands that they lived on Weeble-Wooble. 

But without Roshan, Phil Sr. soon became lonely, and was starting to get bored of the cats, so he decided to make a friend for himself. Since Roshan had done it with him, it couldn't be that hard, right? Phil used every ounce of power in his being to create Norrix, now known as The Ultimate Weird. Norrix looked a lot like a humongous Gila monster, but he had the horns of a rhino, the tail of a scorpion, and the spines of a porcupine. Despite his appearance, Phil liked Norrix, and the two soon became great friends.

As their time together went on, Phil couldn't help noticing that Norrix could be a little strange sometimes. He had a habit of creating small creatures of his own, and then changing them into something else. He would do this for hours on end, until the creature he made was in an endless state of change and could never revert back to its original form. While this wasn't something that Phil particularly liked, he still wanted to remain friends with Norrix, so he ignored it.

However, one day Norrix went too far with his 'habit'. While Phil was asleep, Norrix kidnapped a cat from Weeble-Wooble and started changing it. It was almost to the point where it would never stop changing, when Roshan jumped off of Weeble-Wooble and tackled Norrix. The cat fell out of Norrix's hand and fell back down to its town. However, the cat was still changed when it fell. At this point, the cat looked something like a snake with wings.

Roshan took all of the other dice (which were floating around Weeble-Wooble), and imbued them with magic to create a prison deep underground for Norrix. The Dark Weird that Norrix had used to change the cat was irreversible, so the winged snake created a race of weird upon the face of Roshan's beloved land. 

Having used all of his power to imprison Norrix, Roshan fell back to Weeble-Wooble and died soon after, his Light Weird essence draining into the ground to keep Norrix from ever returning to power. One day, Roshan would be reincarnated into an even more powerful version of himself, one that could defeat Norrix once and for all. Some of the Light Weird where Roshan perished formed into a weapon powerful enough to destroy Norrix. A labyrinth was constructed around this site, which can only be navigated through by the reincarnation of Roshan.


The End

Monday, September 24, 2018

Spork, Private Eye #1 (62)

Spork was sitting in the park one day when she saw Dr. Kaat flying around. Knowing that he was bad news, Spork got up and danced away. When she was at about 50 feet away from Dr. Kaat, her phone started ringing. Help!, Exclaimed the phone. Spork answered right away,

"Hello?" She said in a really cool, intense voice, "Spork, Private Eye speaking."

"Yes," said a rather frantic and seal-sounding voice, "My nose has been kidnapped!"

"Got it, ma'am. I'll be right there."

Spork put her phone back in her cheek-pouch and started up her compass rose. She had only flown for 42.7 seconds, when Abraham Lincoln jumped from the heavens onto her compass rose.

"How dare you steal from me?! You shall-"

Lincoln was cut off as Spork kicked him off of her rose.

"I'll get you, Spork! If it's the last thing I do!"

"Yeah, whatever," said Spork, knowing that Abe was a big wuss.

Spork continued flying until she finally reached her destination; a huge, completely accurate bread carving of Avengers Tower. The seal ran up to her immediately.

"Thank you for coming here at such short notice, Detective," said the seal.

"Of course, Ms.-"

"Kabob. Kumquat Kabob."

"Ms. Kabob. Now, when did you last see your nose?"

"It was in the kitchen making me dinner, as it always does on Tuesday nights."

"Alright," said Spork, taking notes, "When did it go missing?"

"That same night, as we were watching the latest documentary by Varg Unikoorn. I turned to look at my nose after a funny line, but it was gone!"

"I see," said Spork, a nose instead of a pencil in her paw,

"Wait!" exclaimed Kumquat, "That's my nose!"

"Oh, this pencil?"

"No! That blueberry over by that tree!" said Kumquat, pointing towards the blueberry,

"Well then, I guess this case is closed. Another mystery solved by Spork, Private Eye."


The End

Monday, September 10, 2018

Adventuring with Fly #1 (61)

After his rather strange expedition to find the Ningen, Fly decided to go find other supposedly mystical creatures and anomalies. His next adventure would be to Cabo Rojo, Puerto Rico, in search of the legendary Goatsucker, also known as The Chupacabra. Thankfully, Bill and Joe (the cryptozoologists from Fly's last expedition) were willing to join Fly again. Fly also recruited a Spanish translator named Jorge in case the Chupacabra didn't speak English. Here is the logbook Fly kept:

Day 1: We haven't gotten to Puerto Rico yet, but I was getting bored just sitting in the airport. I really needed to write something. Our flight has been delayed three hours already.

Day 4: Still in the airport. Apparently, the plane forgot all of its passengers after already being delayed two days. More updates on the way.

Day 5: Finally on the plane. We've been waiting on the tarmac for five hours due to engine problems. Hopefully We'll get to leave soon.

Day 17: I can't remember what food tastes like. There are still engine troubles!! I'm pretty certain that the crew has forgotten us!

Day 32: Finally! We're taking off! Never have I yearned for airplane food with such ferocity! Chupacabra, prepare to be found!

Day 35: Well, the airport took us to Russia. Yeah. We've booked another flight, and will hopefully get to Puerto Rico soon.

Day 40: ENGINE PROBLEMS AGAIN!! What is wrong with this airplane company!?

Day 100: Yeah, I gave up.

The End