Adventures of Dawge Epilogue Series!

Although the series is technically finished, we here at AoD headquarters (by which I mean me and my 495 pet winged ratfish) feel like there are still some loose ends that need to be tied up, for example the shoelaces on James' crocs.

The AoD epilogue series will be a collection of posts to either finish stories or get series to a nice round number. This could possibly be complete by the end of this year, however I am doubtful considering there have only been two posts in the last 475 days (not including this one).

In other news, we have a sponsor.

The Adventures of Dawge Epilogue Series is brought to you by...

SMALL SPACE KNIVES!!™

The list of things that SMALL SPACE KNIVES!!™ can do is so long, we'll just list the things they can't do:

• cut food
• dig
• prevent rickrolls
• open briefcases
• anything that starts with the letter Y

Super Dawg #9! Spprk, Super Private Eye #6! Weeble-Wooble vs An Old Man Named Larry Brown! (100!!)

NOTE: This is the final post chronologically.

  One day, Dawge was sitting on the beach in his lawn chair watching the whales fly. He was depressed because most of his friends were off on side adventures.
  Suddenly, a gray beam hit one of the whales, and it fell down into the ocean!
  "This is a job for-" said Dawge as he prepared to turn into Super Dawg, but then he realized there were other sentient beings around, like his lawn chair (whose name is Mike, by the way).
  Dawge was about to take the long road back to his house when, before he realized what was going on, he was lifted onto a compass rose by none other than Spprk herself.
  "You can change into Super Dawg up here;" she said, "literally no one pays attention to compasses these days."
  "Alright, than- WAIT A SIXTIETH OF A MINUTE!! HOW DO YOU KNO-"
  "I'm a super detective," Spprk calmly explained, "and also Spork."
  Dawge fainted from shock. Luckily, Spprk had her radio, so she tuned in to Clam Choir: Giving the Squirrel Choir Competition Since Last Week. Super Dawg woke up immediately.
  "How did you kno-"
  "I'm a super detective." Spprk explained.

  After about four minutes of flying toward where Spprk suspected the source was, the flying compass rose stopped flying and instead started falling toward the ground. Luckily, Super Dawg was able to slow their fall using laser toast.
  "Where is the criminal‽" asked Super Dawg.
  "That way!" said Spprk, pointing with her tail.
  The two superheroes started running toward the source. They passed Jebediah's house as the sky giraffe was watering his garden. A gray beam hit him and he turned into an ordinary giraffe, and his clothes disappeared too.
  "Aaaaah!" Super Dawg screamed, "That is the most horrifying thing I've seen past the Hill of Harmless Radioactivity!"
  Spprk got out her amnesia squirt gun and shot Super Dawg, and then herself.
  "Thanks, I think." said Super Dawg.
  "No problem."
  Another gray beam hit Spprk's amnesia squirt gun and it turned into an ordinary squirt gun that doesn't give you amnesia.
  "I sure hope we don't need that," said Spprk.
  Spprk and Super Dawg finally made it to Paul Stadium #2 and found an old man with a gray brick-looking remote shooting the gray beams.
  Super Dawg got out a megaphone and shouted, "THIS IS WEEBLE-WOOBLIAN LAW ENFORCEMENT!! STOP WHAT YOU'RE DOING IMMEDIATELY AND STATE YOUR BUSINESS OR I WILL FIRE LASER TOAST AT YOU!!"
  The old man paused in the middle of pressing the button. "My name is Larry Brown, and I am normalizing Weeble-Wooble. Also, Weeble-Wooble has laws?" asked Larry Brown, chuckling.
  "Yes, in fact it does;" said Super Dawg through the megaphone, "for one, it is illegal to say 'no' to me. Any violators will receive up to two years in chocolate prison and/or a 30,000 duck fi-"
  Super Dawg was cut off by a humongous Gila monster that had the horns of a rhino, the tail of a scorpion, and the spines of a porcupine leaping out of the ground. Yes, it was none other than Norrix, the one who gives Weeble-Wooble its weirdness. He had awoken because Larry Brown had said "I am normalizing Weeble-Wooble."
  Norrix leapt at Larry Brown. In response, Larry Brown fired a gray normalization beam at Norrix. That is something you should never, ever, ever do. Because of the extreme imbalance of weirdness, both Norrix and Larry Brown exploded into decks of special playing cards, Norrix's contingency plan for if he was ever destroyed. These magical playing cards can be used to make stuff weird, except for the jacks of hearts, which produce an infinite supply of strawberry milk. All Weeble-Wooble rejoiced, and they all lived weirdly ever after.

The End

Adventuring With Fly #3b! The Monster's Lair! (99)

Hour 37: I've been winding through hallways for hours. I think this place is a maze.
Hour 43: I hear something! It sounds like disco. I'm heading toward the sound now.

Fly came to the entrance of a room. He couldn't believe his eyes, so he rebooted them. After the 8.4 second reboot cycle, he still saw the same thing.

"Let's party!"

There were a bunch of `s having a disco party! And in the middle of the room, right above the disco cube...

"Dragon‽ What are you doing here? And why do you have a toothbrush costume on?"

"I'm celebrating my Bort-hay, and this time it's toothbrush themed!" Dragon replied, "By the way, where's the exotic thing you promised me?"

"Uh..." Thinking quickly, Fly got out the last of the digging competition prize from his left upper inner pocket and gave it to Dragon. "Here, I got you this."

"A slice of the legendary $‡3dã? Wow, thanks Fly!"

"Er, you're welcome." Unbeknownst to Fly, the $‡3dã is a legendary semifood found seldom in the Milky Qay. Why the ` leaders were just giving it away for only an hour of digging is still under investigation by Spork.

The End